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General Parenting
Out of control 15yo son breaking my heart and the law
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<blockquote data-quote="BloodiedButUnbowed" data-source="post: 719898" data-attributes="member: 13303"><p>As you go through this experience with your son, and hopefully seek out other support for yourself such as this board, therapy and maybe some 12-step groups such as Al Anon if that works for you, you will grow stronger. You will realize his angry, hurtful words do not really reflect his feelings for you. In his own way, your son realizes he needs more structure. Maybe subconsciously he longs for the rules, regulations and accountability that a locked environment would provide.</p><p></p><p>Even if in a worst case scenario, he does end up being placed in the juvenile justice system - this could save his life. I have felt for years that my Difficult Stepson needed this kind of intervention in his early teens. He never got it. He is big, strong, and violent. At 15 he tried to kill his mother (my wife) by strangling her. Still he was enabled. </p><p></p><p>He is now 17. He cannot handle attending a traditional HS. He is going to school online. He is not acting out violently to the best of our knowledge at this time. At the same time, he has damaged our entire family, especially his little brother, beyond measure. We are now dealing with the aftermath of a suicide attempt by his little brother. We thought little brother was "normal." He is not. He was deeply affected by his older brother's cruelty to him and to his parents, among other factors. You are correct that your littler guy needs to be protected from your older son as long as he is acting this way.</p><p></p><p>He may say he hates you. He won't. Not for long. He will always love you no matter what he says. It's OK if he hates the decisions you have to make to save his life. Pull up those big girl pants Cor!</p><p></p><p>If you have access to the necessary financial resources, military school may be a good option for him.</p><p></p><p>We're all here for you!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BloodiedButUnbowed, post: 719898, member: 13303"] As you go through this experience with your son, and hopefully seek out other support for yourself such as this board, therapy and maybe some 12-step groups such as Al Anon if that works for you, you will grow stronger. You will realize his angry, hurtful words do not really reflect his feelings for you. In his own way, your son realizes he needs more structure. Maybe subconsciously he longs for the rules, regulations and accountability that a locked environment would provide. Even if in a worst case scenario, he does end up being placed in the juvenile justice system - this could save his life. I have felt for years that my Difficult Stepson needed this kind of intervention in his early teens. He never got it. He is big, strong, and violent. At 15 he tried to kill his mother (my wife) by strangling her. Still he was enabled. He is now 17. He cannot handle attending a traditional HS. He is going to school online. He is not acting out violently to the best of our knowledge at this time. At the same time, he has damaged our entire family, especially his little brother, beyond measure. We are now dealing with the aftermath of a suicide attempt by his little brother. We thought little brother was "normal." He is not. He was deeply affected by his older brother's cruelty to him and to his parents, among other factors. You are correct that your littler guy needs to be protected from your older son as long as he is acting this way. He may say he hates you. He won't. Not for long. He will always love you no matter what he says. It's OK if he hates the decisions you have to make to save his life. Pull up those big girl pants Cor! If you have access to the necessary financial resources, military school may be a good option for him. We're all here for you! [/QUOTE]
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