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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Out of the mouths of babes...
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<blockquote data-quote="CAmom" data-source="post: 140156" data-attributes="member: 1835"><p>Meow, I think my husband totally understands why I reacted as I did. As a matter of fact, when our son was away and in the group home, we were both able to step back and think and talk more objectively about how unhealthy our family dynamic had become as a result of our son's drug use. </p><p></p><p>And, truthfully, I never felt comfortable in the role I gave myself and very quickly began referring our son to his dad when he would approach me. However, unfortunately, by that time, my husband had so completely detached that he basically ignored our son who would then bounce back to me. </p><p></p><p>Now that the subject has come up, thanks to our son, I think my husband has finally accepted what I've tried to explain over the past year which is that I made a mistake by interfering, even though it was in the interest of keeping the peace, and that I (and our son) REALLY need him to engage himself again. I could see that it really made an impact on him when our son made the comments he did (he actually got tears in his eyes), and I think the ice finally cracked. We were SO lucky that this came out in the presence of a great therapist who guided us through the moment. </p><p></p><p>I've found that I'm so much in the habit of taking over that I really have to concentrate on keeping quiet and letting them work things out, but I'm determined to do it for the sake of all of us...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CAmom, post: 140156, member: 1835"] Meow, I think my husband totally understands why I reacted as I did. As a matter of fact, when our son was away and in the group home, we were both able to step back and think and talk more objectively about how unhealthy our family dynamic had become as a result of our son's drug use. And, truthfully, I never felt comfortable in the role I gave myself and very quickly began referring our son to his dad when he would approach me. However, unfortunately, by that time, my husband had so completely detached that he basically ignored our son who would then bounce back to me. Now that the subject has come up, thanks to our son, I think my husband has finally accepted what I've tried to explain over the past year which is that I made a mistake by interfering, even though it was in the interest of keeping the peace, and that I (and our son) REALLY need him to engage himself again. I could see that it really made an impact on him when our son made the comments he did (he actually got tears in his eyes), and I think the ice finally cracked. We were SO lucky that this came out in the presence of a great therapist who guided us through the moment. I've found that I'm so much in the habit of taking over that I really have to concentrate on keeping quiet and letting them work things out, but I'm determined to do it for the sake of all of us... [/QUOTE]
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Out of the mouths of babes...
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