Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Over 30 and dating in the digital age. Is it really that hard?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 595119" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>MWM, I do NOT recommend you EVER writing your son's dating profile. The way he treats you would NOT improve. He would then call and harangue you about every single person that either did not respond to him or did not do what he wanted. His single status would be 1000% your fault. Having anyone else involved will give him someone to blame besides himself. If he wants a relationship to work, he first needs to deal with his drinking, his abusive treatment of others (no way is his treatment of you different from his behavior with others), and the pain that stems from his divorce. It is WAY too soon for him to be dating and in my opinion he is way too unhealthy for any relationship to be successful in a healthy way. It is sad, but it is HIS problem to deal with. Your involvement will ONLY serve to let him blame you instead of himself for dating/relationship failure. You do NOT need that. </p><p></p><p>The too intense too early thing is a MAJOR red flag for an abusive relationship. He has other things that would make me wary of introducing him to any of my friends. If he wants a relationship that is not online, he needs to find something to do that is not online or work. You have to get out there, find something to do. Every area has various groups who do things. From exercise classes and gyms to churches (if you are a guy they are PRIME places to meet women, esp if you like kids or have one), to parks, dog parks, clubs that do charity work, etc... </p><p></p><p>I know a LOT of people who met their spouse/partner at AA. The ones who have long term relationships waited at least a year before dating. Others, like my bro, had sex early and dated early, maybe got married but it was NOT a good thing and didn't last. The guys who have made it through a year or more of AA and sobriety (both,NOT one or the other), actually ended up being really good husbands. </p><p></p><p>The big problem with online dating is that if you don't have good 'offline' relationships, when the online dating becomes offline dating, those problems are going to be there and it will be NOT good. in my opinion your son would be far better off exploring why his marriage failed and how he could be a better person and father and then once he has addressed those issues he could try dating and would have a vastly better chance. Of course I have been married for 20 yrs, so what do I know? Although I did watch gfgbro try the online thing and that was scary. I felt bad for the women. Except for the ones who were scarier than he was.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 595119, member: 1233"] MWM, I do NOT recommend you EVER writing your son's dating profile. The way he treats you would NOT improve. He would then call and harangue you about every single person that either did not respond to him or did not do what he wanted. His single status would be 1000% your fault. Having anyone else involved will give him someone to blame besides himself. If he wants a relationship to work, he first needs to deal with his drinking, his abusive treatment of others (no way is his treatment of you different from his behavior with others), and the pain that stems from his divorce. It is WAY too soon for him to be dating and in my opinion he is way too unhealthy for any relationship to be successful in a healthy way. It is sad, but it is HIS problem to deal with. Your involvement will ONLY serve to let him blame you instead of himself for dating/relationship failure. You do NOT need that. The too intense too early thing is a MAJOR red flag for an abusive relationship. He has other things that would make me wary of introducing him to any of my friends. If he wants a relationship that is not online, he needs to find something to do that is not online or work. You have to get out there, find something to do. Every area has various groups who do things. From exercise classes and gyms to churches (if you are a guy they are PRIME places to meet women, esp if you like kids or have one), to parks, dog parks, clubs that do charity work, etc... I know a LOT of people who met their spouse/partner at AA. The ones who have long term relationships waited at least a year before dating. Others, like my bro, had sex early and dated early, maybe got married but it was NOT a good thing and didn't last. The guys who have made it through a year or more of AA and sobriety (both,NOT one or the other), actually ended up being really good husbands. The big problem with online dating is that if you don't have good 'offline' relationships, when the online dating becomes offline dating, those problems are going to be there and it will be NOT good. in my opinion your son would be far better off exploring why his marriage failed and how he could be a better person and father and then once he has addressed those issues he could try dating and would have a vastly better chance. Of course I have been married for 20 yrs, so what do I know? Although I did watch gfgbro try the online thing and that was scary. I felt bad for the women. Except for the ones who were scarier than he was. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Over 30 and dating in the digital age. Is it really that hard?
Top