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Overwhelmed and scared by teen son
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<blockquote data-quote="JulieMarshall" data-source="post: 415032" data-attributes="member: 11453"><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Three weeks ago, my 16-year-old son, Leo, lost his best friend in a very, very unexpected suicide. They grew up together, and were extremely close. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px">It hit him extremely hard. And ever since then, it seems to me like he's been in a deep depression, but this past week it's gotten much, much worse.</span></span> <span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Leo's regressed further and further and he's like a robot now. His eyes have no light in them, and he's eaten so little that he's lost a frightening amount of weight. His sleeping, too, has been affected, and it's like he's going to collapse from sheer exhaustion. And when I try to even talk to him, he just ignores me all together and acts like he didn't hear me. </span></span> <span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px">He's been going to school, but he hasn't done any homework at all, as far as I can tell, and according to the online gradebook our school has he's pretty much failed every single quiz and test he's taken since his friend's suicide. Leo's very intelligent and his studies are important to him; he wants to go to Yale, and he knows he has to get good grades. And his coach called me and told me Leo quit the varsity soccer team as well--soccer was his life. More indicators of just how bad this situation is.</span></span> <span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px">And this morning, my 10-year-old daughter Nora accidentally bumped into him and he completely flipped out. Like, he screamed at her for a full minute and threw the box of cereal he was holding at her face before stomping up to his room (I'm just glad it wasn't something more dangerous). It was scary, because he's never done that before. Ever. And that's the most emotion he's showed in the last three weeks.</span></span> <span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I think that the grief and guilt and stress he's carrying around have completely buried him and I'm worried for both his safety and ours.</span></span> <span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px">He's very much the kind of kid that bottles things up inside, and I'm afraid that he's going to just explode or implode in one way or another. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Leo killing himself <em>has</em> crossed my mind, and now I'm just about afraid to leave him alone for more than a few minutes for fear that he'll do something to himself. Just my paranoia, but still. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I know he needs help. I've never seen him like this before, and every day it gets worse. And my gut is telling me that something is seriously, seriously wrong. I'm terrified.</span></span> <span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px">So I scheduled an appointment with an adolescent psychologist for yesterday. </span></span> <span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px">The thing is, though, that he refused to go. Point blank. </span></span> <span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Should I force him to attend a session? How would I even go about doing that? I'm a single mom, and he's much taller than me. </span></span> <span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px">But would that make things even worse? Would it completely destroy our relationship?</span></span> <span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Please help me. I'm so worried for my son.</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JulieMarshall, post: 415032, member: 11453"] [FONT=Franklin Gothic Medium][SIZE=3]Three weeks ago, my 16-year-old son, Leo, lost his best friend in a very, very unexpected suicide. They grew up together, and were extremely close. It hit him extremely hard. And ever since then, it seems to me like he's been in a deep depression, but this past week it's gotten much, much worse.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Franklin Gothic Medium][SIZE=3] Leo's regressed further and further and he's like a robot now. His eyes have no light in them, and he's eaten so little that he's lost a frightening amount of weight. His sleeping, too, has been affected, and it's like he's going to collapse from sheer exhaustion. And when I try to even talk to him, he just ignores me all together and acts like he didn't hear me. [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Franklin Gothic Medium][SIZE=3] He's been going to school, but he hasn't done any homework at all, as far as I can tell, and according to the online gradebook our school has he's pretty much failed every single quiz and test he's taken since his friend's suicide. Leo's very intelligent and his studies are important to him; he wants to go to Yale, and he knows he has to get good grades. And his coach called me and told me Leo quit the varsity soccer team as well--soccer was his life. More indicators of just how bad this situation is.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Franklin Gothic Medium][SIZE=3] And this morning, my 10-year-old daughter Nora accidentally bumped into him and he completely flipped out. Like, he screamed at her for a full minute and threw the box of cereal he was holding at her face before stomping up to his room (I'm just glad it wasn't something more dangerous). It was scary, because he's never done that before. Ever. And that's the most emotion he's showed in the last three weeks.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Franklin Gothic Medium][SIZE=3] I think that the grief and guilt and stress he's carrying around have completely buried him and I'm worried for both his safety and ours.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Franklin Gothic Medium][SIZE=3] He's very much the kind of kid that bottles things up inside, and I'm afraid that he's going to just explode or implode in one way or another. Leo killing himself [I]has[/I] crossed my mind, and now I'm just about afraid to leave him alone for more than a few minutes for fear that he'll do something to himself. Just my paranoia, but still. I know he needs help. I've never seen him like this before, and every day it gets worse. And my gut is telling me that something is seriously, seriously wrong. I'm terrified.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Franklin Gothic Medium][SIZE=3] So I scheduled an appointment with an adolescent psychologist for yesterday. [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Franklin Gothic Medium][SIZE=3] The thing is, though, that he refused to go. Point blank. [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Franklin Gothic Medium][SIZE=3] Should I force him to attend a session? How would I even go about doing that? I'm a single mom, and he's much taller than me. [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Franklin Gothic Medium][SIZE=3] But would that make things even worse? Would it completely destroy our relationship?[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Franklin Gothic Medium][SIZE=3] Please help me. I'm so worried for my son.[/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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