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<blockquote data-quote="OverwhelmedMa" data-source="post: 392359"><p>Slh,</p><p> </p><p>"My biggest doubt is that when you're dealing with a child who shows no remorse and who engages very intently on disruptive/destructive behavior, withdrawing contact until it "improves" (on its own??) seems a bit goofy. My kid was the energizer bunny when he was raging - I doubt our home would still be standing if I had just withdrawn. Had I withdrawn my attention... well, thank you would have just kept on going until I had to reengage.</p><p></p><p>My son never responded well to reward/consequence type behavior plans - in fact, positive reinforcement would provoke negative behaviors, while negative reinforcers (time outs, spanking when he was young and I was still clueless, loss of a toy or activity) actually reinforced the negative behaviors. I can't tell you how many therapists, psychiatrists, teachers, SWs, and other professionals we dealt with who didn't get this. They simply refused to believe it - until they saw it in action. That said, I think it's probably a good idea to look at other resources - 6 months with- a therapist is plenty of time, in my humble opinion, for a therapist to get a bit more clued in to the particular behaviors and needs of a child and the family. "</p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">My concern of withdrawing during a rage is exactly as you described. We have removed shop objects and such throughout the home, but recently recovered children's scissors from her. I am not sure how she got them and most likely took the from school at one point. Last Saturday, while she was in her room she cut her jeans. I am sure it was attributed to the fact my husband and I refused to purchase her new jeans because she had plenty of them that were in great condition and fit. I am just glad it was not used in any other manner. Her rages will tear our house down if we let her. As you mentioned, typical rewards/consequences have not worked for us. She reacts the same way you described your son. On numerous occasions, this situation has put a wedge between my husband and I. He has a hard time coping with the behaviors and defends or minimizes it. Recently, he finally agreed to get her a psychiatric evaluation and realizes the behavior is not apart of normal childhood development. I think a lot of his defending has to do with his past mistakes. Thankfully, he is now beginning to see the downwards destruction and wants to seek help for her.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">In the end, I am concerned for her developing into a functioning child and adult. I do not see any positive out of allowing the behavior to continue without seeking out help. Yes for my own selfish reasons, I want the behavior to improve but in the end, she needs help. </span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="OverwhelmedMa, post: 392359"] Slh, "My biggest doubt is that when you're dealing with a child who shows no remorse and who engages very intently on disruptive/destructive behavior, withdrawing contact until it "improves" (on its own??) seems a bit goofy. My kid was the energizer bunny when he was raging - I doubt our home would still be standing if I had just withdrawn. Had I withdrawn my attention... well, thank you would have just kept on going until I had to reengage. My son never responded well to reward/consequence type behavior plans - in fact, positive reinforcement would provoke negative behaviors, while negative reinforcers (time outs, spanking when he was young and I was still clueless, loss of a toy or activity) actually reinforced the negative behaviors. I can't tell you how many therapists, psychiatrists, teachers, SWs, and other professionals we dealt with who didn't get this. They simply refused to believe it - until they saw it in action. That said, I think it's probably a good idea to look at other resources - 6 months with- a therapist is plenty of time, in my humble opinion, for a therapist to get a bit more clued in to the particular behaviors and needs of a child and the family. " [FONT=Tahoma]My concern of withdrawing during a rage is exactly as you described. We have removed shop objects and such throughout the home, but recently recovered children's scissors from her. I am not sure how she got them and most likely took the from school at one point. Last Saturday, while she was in her room she cut her jeans. I am sure it was attributed to the fact my husband and I refused to purchase her new jeans because she had plenty of them that were in great condition and fit. I am just glad it was not used in any other manner. Her rages will tear our house down if we let her. As you mentioned, typical rewards/consequences have not worked for us. She reacts the same way you described your son. On numerous occasions, this situation has put a wedge between my husband and I. He has a hard time coping with the behaviors and defends or minimizes it. Recently, he finally agreed to get her a psychiatric evaluation and realizes the behavior is not apart of normal childhood development. I think a lot of his defending has to do with his past mistakes. Thankfully, he is now beginning to see the downwards destruction and wants to seek help for her.[/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma] [/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma]In the end, I am concerned for her developing into a functioning child and adult. I do not see any positive out of allowing the behavior to continue without seeking out help. Yes for my own selfish reasons, I want the behavior to improve but in the end, she needs help. [/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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