Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Overwhelmed Newbie
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Allan-Matlem" data-source="post: 392450" data-attributes="member: 10"><p>Hi,</p><p></p><p>Using strategies to make a kid to wanna behave is pretty outdated , especially with the new understanding that these kids lack many coping skills and really would prefer to do well if they could. The way to go in my humble opinion is get the latest editions of Ross Greene's the explosive child , lost at school and check out the websites - <a href="http://livesinthebalance.org" target="_blank">http://livesinthebalance.org</a> and <a href="http://thinkkids.org" target="_blank">http://thinkkids.org</a> - go through the missing skills and unsolved problems check list . It is important to lower the rope and calm the home and spend time on one on one chatting- meaning we listening and get her to speak using dialog questions focusing on non-emotive subjects , perspective taking , empathy , expressing how one feels , likes , what makes one sad, happy etc , connecting and bonding , having fun together etc . I try to avoid saying NO and rather have a cps discussion.</p><p></p><p>Now cps is not a technique or magic bullet , it takes at least 40 experiences to learn to trust the process and acquire skills but every point on the way , you and her are learning. That is why general chatting , focusing on other peoples problems and concerns and how they try to address each others concerns and work it out together is important</p><p></p><p>because you are a step mom , you are at a disadvantage and advantage - you are not her mom , but you can become her best friend , a mentor to her , your child has to learn to trust you.</p><p></p><p>I recomend highly older sisters, buddy-tutors etc - these relationships promote skills and disussion , a trusting relationship </p><p></p><p>it is not easy , many bumps in the road , important not to let the bad moments make you look for the quick fix </p><p></p><p>here is a link to cps videos from both cps sites </p><p></p><p>I hope this helps</p><p>Allan</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Allan-Matlem, post: 392450, member: 10"] Hi, Using strategies to make a kid to wanna behave is pretty outdated , especially with the new understanding that these kids lack many coping skills and really would prefer to do well if they could. The way to go in my humble opinion is get the latest editions of Ross Greene's the explosive child , lost at school and check out the websites - [url]http://livesinthebalance.org[/url] and [url]http://thinkkids.org[/url] - go through the missing skills and unsolved problems check list . It is important to lower the rope and calm the home and spend time on one on one chatting- meaning we listening and get her to speak using dialog questions focusing on non-emotive subjects , perspective taking , empathy , expressing how one feels , likes , what makes one sad, happy etc , connecting and bonding , having fun together etc . I try to avoid saying NO and rather have a cps discussion. Now cps is not a technique or magic bullet , it takes at least 40 experiences to learn to trust the process and acquire skills but every point on the way , you and her are learning. That is why general chatting , focusing on other peoples problems and concerns and how they try to address each others concerns and work it out together is important because you are a step mom , you are at a disadvantage and advantage - you are not her mom , but you can become her best friend , a mentor to her , your child has to learn to trust you. I recomend highly older sisters, buddy-tutors etc - these relationships promote skills and disussion , a trusting relationship it is not easy , many bumps in the road , important not to let the bad moments make you look for the quick fix here is a link to cps videos from both cps sites I hope this helps Allan [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Overwhelmed Newbie
Top