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Panic attacks and dreams of wheelchairs..
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<blockquote data-quote="Marcie Mac" data-source="post: 69477" data-attributes="member: 47"><p>SO's visit to the doctor last week wasn't very good - he wants him in the wheelchair - now - his spine has collapsed a little more, he is in a lot more pain. But.. He is still walking around - last night at auto racing, his passion, he almost didn't make it back to the truck and was in agony most of the night.</p><p></p><p>And me, a nightly thing, I find myself defraging the computer at 2:45 in the morning, or just staring into space, trying to formulate the "game plan" </p><p></p><p>I have never had a darn game plan in my life - my difficult child attitude to life in general "just winging it and see what happens" is failing and I am absolutely miserable and lost without it - its been my survival skill all these years. Thinking too much seems to be hazaradous to my health - the more I think the more of a panic I get into. If this is a "you get older and get wiser" kinda thing, let me tell you it absolutely <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> eggs to ones who live on impulse. Its not natural</p><p></p><p>I am up at 3:00 this morning now thinking about how am I gonna get him in the shower when he can't walk anymore. Should I rearrange the bedroom now so he is closer to the bathroom. Where can I find directions on the internet to build a ramp for the front door. Should I go in the spare room where that darn electric wheelchair is and practice disassembling it and practice using the truck ramps to get it in the truck.</p><p></p><p>I know when the quality of life for him gets too bad what he is going to do. More stuff that weighs on my mind. I know the doctor visit is in order for a Paxil rx - I just even hate having to think about being drugged to get thru each day. I can go months without it, till I start thinking too much..</p><p></p><p>Sigh..</p><p></p><p>Marcie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marcie Mac, post: 69477, member: 47"] SO's visit to the doctor last week wasn't very good - he wants him in the wheelchair - now - his spine has collapsed a little more, he is in a lot more pain. But.. He is still walking around - last night at auto racing, his passion, he almost didn't make it back to the truck and was in agony most of the night. And me, a nightly thing, I find myself defraging the computer at 2:45 in the morning, or just staring into space, trying to formulate the "game plan" I have never had a darn game plan in my life - my difficult child attitude to life in general "just winging it and see what happens" is failing and I am absolutely miserable and lost without it - its been my survival skill all these years. Thinking too much seems to be hazaradous to my health - the more I think the more of a panic I get into. If this is a "you get older and get wiser" kinda thing, let me tell you it absolutely :censored: eggs to ones who live on impulse. Its not natural I am up at 3:00 this morning now thinking about how am I gonna get him in the shower when he can't walk anymore. Should I rearrange the bedroom now so he is closer to the bathroom. Where can I find directions on the internet to build a ramp for the front door. Should I go in the spare room where that darn electric wheelchair is and practice disassembling it and practice using the truck ramps to get it in the truck. I know when the quality of life for him gets too bad what he is going to do. More stuff that weighs on my mind. I know the doctor visit is in order for a Paxil rx - I just even hate having to think about being drugged to get thru each day. I can go months without it, till I start thinking too much.. Sigh.. Marcie [/QUOTE]
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Panic attacks and dreams of wheelchairs..
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