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parenting a difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="smallworld" data-source="post: 35407" data-attributes="member: 2423"><p>Jannie, I never thought parenting would be so challenging either, but honestly, it's the hardest job I've ever had.</p><p></p><p>I've had to adjust my expectations. My nearly 14-year-old son doesn't brush his teeth or take a shower regularly, doesn't read a book or do his homework without major help from his dad. I don't for a minute believe he will do these things because I ask him to. He needs to "buy in," and by that, I don't mean earn a reward for doing these things. What I do mean is that he needs to understand for himself why it's important for him to brush his teeth or do his homework. And a lot of the time, he just doesn't see the importance of things we, his parents, think are important. So we put it in Basket B or C (per Ross Greene of The Explosive Child fame) and don't argue about it because in the whole scheme of things it's just not that important. </p><p></p><p>My son has been diagnosed with a chronic depression of moderate to severe intensity (with a rule-out on BiPolar (BP) because it's too soon to tell how he will be after puberty). He's not all that motivated to do much of anything (although baseball, computer games and certain movies do capture his attention). I strongly believe his lack of motivation is tied to his depression, and when the combo of medications, therapeutic interventions and post-puberty kick in, we hope to see better motivation. Our podc says that once depressed adolescents reach 15 or 16, they generally improve. We have a few more years to go, but I'm hopeful our psychiatrist is right. </p><p></p><p>medications have made somewhat of a difference in my son's life already. He is no longer raging nightly, he goes to school willingly every morning, and he is generally more pleasant to be around. It sounds to me as if your difficult child needs to have his medications looked at. Perhaps that small dose of Abilify isn't doing enough. </p><p></p><p>I know it's hard. Hang in there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="smallworld, post: 35407, member: 2423"] Jannie, I never thought parenting would be so challenging either, but honestly, it's the hardest job I've ever had. I've had to adjust my expectations. My nearly 14-year-old son doesn't brush his teeth or take a shower regularly, doesn't read a book or do his homework without major help from his dad. I don't for a minute believe he will do these things because I ask him to. He needs to "buy in," and by that, I don't mean earn a reward for doing these things. What I do mean is that he needs to understand for himself why it's important for him to brush his teeth or do his homework. And a lot of the time, he just doesn't see the importance of things we, his parents, think are important. So we put it in Basket B or C (per Ross Greene of The Explosive Child fame) and don't argue about it because in the whole scheme of things it's just not that important. My son has been diagnosed with a chronic depression of moderate to severe intensity (with a rule-out on BiPolar (BP) because it's too soon to tell how he will be after puberty). He's not all that motivated to do much of anything (although baseball, computer games and certain movies do capture his attention). I strongly believe his lack of motivation is tied to his depression, and when the combo of medications, therapeutic interventions and post-puberty kick in, we hope to see better motivation. Our podc says that once depressed adolescents reach 15 or 16, they generally improve. We have a few more years to go, but I'm hopeful our psychiatrist is right. medications have made somewhat of a difference in my son's life already. He is no longer raging nightly, he goes to school willingly every morning, and he is generally more pleasant to be around. It sounds to me as if your difficult child needs to have his medications looked at. Perhaps that small dose of Abilify isn't doing enough. I know it's hard. Hang in there. [/QUOTE]
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