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<blockquote data-quote="timer lady" data-source="post: 172352" data-attributes="member: 393"><p><strong>Reading all of these responses (I don't believe I've missed any) makes me pause. As another said, we are very fragile & sore at being "accused of having a bad/inappropriate" parenting style" for our difficult children.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>It's devastating to have a professional drop this on you - especially in the midst of a meltdown in his office that even he cannot stop. You walk out of there, carrying a child - kicking & screaming - while you rack your brain on what you did wrong.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>Saying that, I truly believe, as with any other relationship - it's a give to get type of situation. As adults in the beginning we give a great deal more; love, attention, teaching skills, manners, proper responses. As our difficult children grow we learned & are still learning their abilities & their deficits. In the process I learned, as well, the illnesses & disorders that got in the way of a healthy life - those same illnesses & disorders had me changing once more what I thought was a perfectly acceptable style. And it was - just not for the tweedles</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>I learned early on as well, that many of my reactions, i.e. consequences, hugs, I love you's, were not tolerated by my tweedles. Not because it was a consequence or nururing but because they hadn't been given any consequences, nurturing & we had to start over from day one.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>I'd have to say that my parenting has been hit & miss throughout the years yet I feel I have a good handle on master wm & ms. kt. What I would do yesterday for a situation may be different today just because it's a different day & ms. kt is in a different place emotionally.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>I see parenting as part of the ebb & flow of life. Some days it's intense & you take it to the line; other days it's relaxed & peaceful. You talk, laugh & play with your children on those days. Ever evolving as our difficult children evolve.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="timer lady, post: 172352, member: 393"] [B]Reading all of these responses (I don't believe I've missed any) makes me pause. As another said, we are very fragile & sore at being "accused of having a bad/inappropriate" parenting style" for our difficult children. It's devastating to have a professional drop this on you - especially in the midst of a meltdown in his office that even he cannot stop. You walk out of there, carrying a child - kicking & screaming - while you rack your brain on what you did wrong. Saying that, I truly believe, as with any other relationship - it's a give to get type of situation. As adults in the beginning we give a great deal more; love, attention, teaching skills, manners, proper responses. As our difficult children grow we learned & are still learning their abilities & their deficits. In the process I learned, as well, the illnesses & disorders that got in the way of a healthy life - those same illnesses & disorders had me changing once more what I thought was a perfectly acceptable style. And it was - just not for the tweedles I learned early on as well, that many of my reactions, i.e. consequences, hugs, I love you's, were not tolerated by my tweedles. Not because it was a consequence or nururing but because they hadn't been given any consequences, nurturing & we had to start over from day one. I'd have to say that my parenting has been hit & miss throughout the years yet I feel I have a good handle on master wm & ms. kt. What I would do yesterday for a situation may be different today just because it's a different day & ms. kt is in a different place emotionally. I see parenting as part of the ebb & flow of life. Some days it's intense & you take it to the line; other days it's relaxed & peaceful. You talk, laugh & play with your children on those days. Ever evolving as our difficult children evolve. [/B] [/QUOTE]
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