Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Part two of I'm not Visiting my Abuse Son in MO: I feel guilty. Yep.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 568107" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>You're doing the right thing MWM. Your son is an adult, an adult who is acting badly and one whom you do not feel safe with. This is a wonderful example of you taking care of yourself, focusing on your needs as opposed to his, recognizing that you would be enabling him by going because he wants you to, when it doesn't feel right to you. Whatever his reactions are, are <em>his r</em>eactions, you are not responsible for his reactions nor are you there to save him from himself or his circumstances. Although I understand and have empathy for why you would feel guilty, I think that would be a common response to different behavior on your part, as well as wanting to be there for him but recognizing that under the circumstances, you cannot...........I think it's safe to say that you can (and should) throw that guilt overboard, you made the only sane choice, you made the right choice, you are choosing to take care of yourself rather then him. I say, good job. Not easy, not fun, not a feel good experience at all, but you're responding with self love and self respect and showing him by your example, someone who honors herself enough to make a difficult choice. I believe in this particular instance, guilt only serves to make you feel bad, to make you suffer, it has no redeeming qualities for change or resolution or remorse, etc......so throw it off and enjoy your holidays with your family. (((HUGS))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 568107, member: 13542"] You're doing the right thing MWM. Your son is an adult, an adult who is acting badly and one whom you do not feel safe with. This is a wonderful example of you taking care of yourself, focusing on your needs as opposed to his, recognizing that you would be enabling him by going because he wants you to, when it doesn't feel right to you. Whatever his reactions are, are [I]his r[/I]eactions, you are not responsible for his reactions nor are you there to save him from himself or his circumstances. Although I understand and have empathy for why you would feel guilty, I think that would be a common response to different behavior on your part, as well as wanting to be there for him but recognizing that under the circumstances, you cannot...........I think it's safe to say that you can (and should) throw that guilt overboard, you made the only sane choice, you made the right choice, you are choosing to take care of yourself rather then him. I say, good job. Not easy, not fun, not a feel good experience at all, but you're responding with self love and self respect and showing him by your example, someone who honors herself enough to make a difficult choice. I believe in this particular instance, guilt only serves to make you feel bad, to make you suffer, it has no redeeming qualities for change or resolution or remorse, etc......so throw it off and enjoy your holidays with your family. (((HUGS)))) [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Part two of I'm not Visiting my Abuse Son in MO: I feel guilty. Yep.
Top