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Passive aggressive / aggressive aggressive
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<blockquote data-quote="Kjs" data-source="post: 244304"><p>Answers to those who have replied.</p><p> </p><p>We have been doing this "fair fighting" thing with therapist. And, I see NO way this will ever work. We don't even TALK, how are we suppose to set a time to Fight? And discuss rules? Like I said, nobody talks. It is either silent or screaming. There is NO in between.</p><p> </p><p>Why I don't like it? Because it is like living alone, but not alone.</p><p> </p><p>I am SO MUCH more lonely now than if I were alone. I miss having someone. I miss talking to my kids. I am so lonely. I leave. When I am not working I get in the car and drive, for hours. It hurts less physically being alone than it does being in the house with my family - yet being alone.</p><p> </p><p>When we would go back home for a visit (2.5 hours). husband would not say a single word the entire trip.</p><p>Nobody asks me anything. I take care of things and they just assume it is all taken care of. </p><p>I talk to them. I cannot live in the same place with others and not see them. I don't know if I am invisible or if they actually hate me so much they don't care how much it hurts me. But I cannot live that way.</p><p> </p><p>difficult child - yesterday. Just like his father. Too bad he had to grow up to be like that. On the way to therapist appointment. He got very angry with me because I mentioned Homework. (He hasn't done ANY for a week now. Not even in class work). difficult child thinks as long as he is passing the class there is no reason to do homework. I disagreed. That led to him screaming at me. In return, I screamed back. Then he yells at me and tells me how mean I am because I yelled. It is just a vicous circle. He did the silent treatment. About a 40 minute ride. I cried all the way. Started arguing again once we got in the waiting room. therapist came out and told us to just "breathe". I asked difficult child to STOP texting. It is rude when you are trying to talk to someone. He threw his phone at me. therapist did not talk to me at all.</p><p> </p><p>difficult child was silent the entire way home. I cried the entire way home. difficult child did manage to tell me last night that if I hate my life so much why don't I just move out. EXCUSE ME - I PAY for that house. ME move out??? Sorry.</p><p> </p><p>difficult child said he WILL NOT TRY. Not going to do homework. Not going to stop lying. He is not willing to try to make things better because nothing will help.</p><p>I told difficult child that I would not have called therapist, or have us all going to counseling if I wasn't TRYING to work things out. Atleast I am TRYING.</p><p> </p><p>Then I went on a husband bashing tangent. Probably shouldn't of. But - husband doesn't say a single word to me. Yet he calls his work buddy and talks tohim all the way to marriage counseling. husband doesn't say a single word to me or even notice I live in the same house. Asked difficult child if he sees friends parents kiss, or hug or even look at each other. Maybe talk. he says yes.</p><p>I pointed out that husband is NOT normal. I just went off.</p><p> </p><p>I have no hope. Nobody is willing to try and that was said. easy child hates everyone. Told me so. difficult child , well I can't even begin to explain him. husband - just ignores I am alive. AND they are currently ALL living in my house. That is just wonderful.</p><p> </p><p>I got home, asked husband why he hasn't logged on to check school. Gave him the emails and printout of difficult child's NO work. Went to bed. I don't know if he did anything.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kjs, post: 244304"] Answers to those who have replied. We have been doing this "fair fighting" thing with therapist. And, I see NO way this will ever work. We don't even TALK, how are we suppose to set a time to Fight? And discuss rules? Like I said, nobody talks. It is either silent or screaming. There is NO in between. Why I don't like it? Because it is like living alone, but not alone. I am SO MUCH more lonely now than if I were alone. I miss having someone. I miss talking to my kids. I am so lonely. I leave. When I am not working I get in the car and drive, for hours. It hurts less physically being alone than it does being in the house with my family - yet being alone. When we would go back home for a visit (2.5 hours). husband would not say a single word the entire trip. Nobody asks me anything. I take care of things and they just assume it is all taken care of. I talk to them. I cannot live in the same place with others and not see them. I don't know if I am invisible or if they actually hate me so much they don't care how much it hurts me. But I cannot live that way. difficult child - yesterday. Just like his father. Too bad he had to grow up to be like that. On the way to therapist appointment. He got very angry with me because I mentioned Homework. (He hasn't done ANY for a week now. Not even in class work). difficult child thinks as long as he is passing the class there is no reason to do homework. I disagreed. That led to him screaming at me. In return, I screamed back. Then he yells at me and tells me how mean I am because I yelled. It is just a vicous circle. He did the silent treatment. About a 40 minute ride. I cried all the way. Started arguing again once we got in the waiting room. therapist came out and told us to just "breathe". I asked difficult child to STOP texting. It is rude when you are trying to talk to someone. He threw his phone at me. therapist did not talk to me at all. difficult child was silent the entire way home. I cried the entire way home. difficult child did manage to tell me last night that if I hate my life so much why don't I just move out. EXCUSE ME - I PAY for that house. ME move out??? Sorry. difficult child said he WILL NOT TRY. Not going to do homework. Not going to stop lying. He is not willing to try to make things better because nothing will help. I told difficult child that I would not have called therapist, or have us all going to counseling if I wasn't TRYING to work things out. Atleast I am TRYING. Then I went on a husband bashing tangent. Probably shouldn't of. But - husband doesn't say a single word to me. Yet he calls his work buddy and talks tohim all the way to marriage counseling. husband doesn't say a single word to me or even notice I live in the same house. Asked difficult child if he sees friends parents kiss, or hug or even look at each other. Maybe talk. he says yes. I pointed out that husband is NOT normal. I just went off. I have no hope. Nobody is willing to try and that was said. easy child hates everyone. Told me so. difficult child , well I can't even begin to explain him. husband - just ignores I am alive. AND they are currently ALL living in my house. That is just wonderful. I got home, asked husband why he hasn't logged on to check school. Gave him the emails and printout of difficult child's NO work. Went to bed. I don't know if he did anything. [/QUOTE]
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