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Parent Emeritus
Past plan B working on W
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 762176" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>I know. I did this too. My daughter is also mentally ill. Until she was in her 30s I fought for her , ignoring the rest of my family. What I found out is that Kay had to be willing to do the fighting and she would not so I stopped. It was too draining and my marriage was suffering...the entire family was being destroyed because of Kay's poor choices. One poor choice was her refusal to get any help. Another was using drugs. Another was somehow sabotaging every edge we tried to give her to get better. We spent considerable time and money. She spent no time trying to get better so she did not and I finally see that I can't make her get well.</p><p></p><p>A lot of us have decided that this is not OUR fight. That we can't change another person, not even our child or somebody who is mentally ill or using drugs. We can't stop them. They must want to be well and to decide to cooperate with help.</p><p></p><p>It took me ten years and half of our retirement money to finally realize that in our case our help did not help Kay.</p><p></p><p>We also see a therapist.</p><p></p><p>I hope you find peace.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 762176, member: 23706"] I know. I did this too. My daughter is also mentally ill. Until she was in her 30s I fought for her , ignoring the rest of my family. What I found out is that Kay had to be willing to do the fighting and she would not so I stopped. It was too draining and my marriage was suffering...the entire family was being destroyed because of Kay's poor choices. One poor choice was her refusal to get any help. Another was using drugs. Another was somehow sabotaging every edge we tried to give her to get better. We spent considerable time and money. She spent no time trying to get better so she did not and I finally see that I can't make her get well. A lot of us have decided that this is not OUR fight. That we can't change another person, not even our child or somebody who is mentally ill or using drugs. We can't stop them. They must want to be well and to decide to cooperate with help. It took me ten years and half of our retirement money to finally realize that in our case our help did not help Kay. We also see a therapist. I hope you find peace. [/QUOTE]
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