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pe Scared And Don't Know What To Do
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 116306" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hon, my advice is probably not what you want to hear, but I'd get uninvolved in the situation.</p><p>1/ You can't do ONE THING to control what your son does at his age.</p><p>2/ You can't do ONE THING to help this girl at her age. NOTHING. </p><p>3/ You can't do ONE THING about how this girl's parents act towards this destructive relationship. NOTHING. </p><p> If your son is considered an adult, I'd tell him calmly, "I don't want to hear about her." I'd do the same when her mother calls or, better, I'd Caller ID her out. Your son is too old for you to control and I"ll bet you're close to giving yourself a nervous breakdown over something you can't do a thing about. As for the girl, she is in no way your responsibility. One thing I would tell my son: If the girl choses to do harm to herself it is HER choice and he can't stop it nor is it his fault. Then I'd butt out and try to be good to myself. I'd get involved in a new hobby or group or disengage from the entire situation. The mother of the girl is going to have to deal with her daughter herself--I actually think she needs to detach too because, unless her daughter realizes she needs help, she won't get it. If the mother doesn't think the daughter needs help either, again, there is not a thing you can do about it except make yourself sick. We get into a habit of helping our troubled children, but there comes an age when the responsibility falls to them to make choices. We legally can't. The mother of the girl can't really stop her daughter from seeing your son. This is their mess and your son's problem. Please remember that and be good to YOU. in my opinion I'd take the stress out of my life at least a little bit by sliding out of the entire mess. You can't stop this girl from committing suicide if she's going to do it. If she tells you she is suicidal, I'd call 9-1-1. They will take her to the hospital and professionals will help her. Good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 116306, member: 1550"] Hon, my advice is probably not what you want to hear, but I'd get uninvolved in the situation. 1/ You can't do ONE THING to control what your son does at his age. 2/ You can't do ONE THING to help this girl at her age. NOTHING. 3/ You can't do ONE THING about how this girl's parents act towards this destructive relationship. NOTHING. If your son is considered an adult, I'd tell him calmly, "I don't want to hear about her." I'd do the same when her mother calls or, better, I'd Caller ID her out. Your son is too old for you to control and I"ll bet you're close to giving yourself a nervous breakdown over something you can't do a thing about. As for the girl, she is in no way your responsibility. One thing I would tell my son: If the girl choses to do harm to herself it is HER choice and he can't stop it nor is it his fault. Then I'd butt out and try to be good to myself. I'd get involved in a new hobby or group or disengage from the entire situation. The mother of the girl is going to have to deal with her daughter herself--I actually think she needs to detach too because, unless her daughter realizes she needs help, she won't get it. If the mother doesn't think the daughter needs help either, again, there is not a thing you can do about it except make yourself sick. We get into a habit of helping our troubled children, but there comes an age when the responsibility falls to them to make choices. We legally can't. The mother of the girl can't really stop her daughter from seeing your son. This is their mess and your son's problem. Please remember that and be good to YOU. in my opinion I'd take the stress out of my life at least a little bit by sliding out of the entire mess. You can't stop this girl from committing suicide if she's going to do it. If she tells you she is suicidal, I'd call 9-1-1. They will take her to the hospital and professionals will help her. Good luck. [/QUOTE]
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