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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 420362" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>Honestly? This one sentence says it all. A few years back (before July 2007), Onyxx would cause some kind of problem every weekend. If we did anything about it (ANY kind of consequence, call to the cops, even a report on the court-ordered website to BM), BM would make a big deal out of how obviously we were unable to handle a "spirited child", husband should walk away (or "man up"), or there would be an attempt at a protective order against husband. When we did nothing about it (we found out later), Onyxx would get into trouble with her. I know what Onyxx has said - allegedly BM beat her, usually with brushes, but occasionally with fists - and this goes along with the bruises I saw, and things that Jett has let slip since Onyxx stopped visiting her - but I wasn't there, I don't actually know. I do know that the next weekend after we had an online "discussion" with BM, Onyxx would come to our house with new clothes, jewelry, makeup - and later she told me she was rewarded for causing trouble.</p><p> </p><p>Onyxx asked me - about a year ago I think - why BM did not love her. I told her that people sometimes don't know <em>how </em>to love, and I was sure BM did love her but maybe didn't know how to show it. And then my little girl told me that she used to come up with things to do to upset me and husband, because she wanted BM to love her.</p><p> </p><p>It's a similar thing. Poor kid wants Mom to love him, more than the drugs/alcohol. There is a light, though - if the courts let up on her, and she stops? And he isn't living in your home? He will <em>see</em> that it is not <em>you</em> and your husband, but <em>her</em>. Prepare for it to take a while, though.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 420362, member: 6705"] Honestly? This one sentence says it all. A few years back (before July 2007), Onyxx would cause some kind of problem every weekend. If we did anything about it (ANY kind of consequence, call to the cops, even a report on the court-ordered website to BM), BM would make a big deal out of how obviously we were unable to handle a "spirited child", husband should walk away (or "man up"), or there would be an attempt at a protective order against husband. When we did nothing about it (we found out later), Onyxx would get into trouble with her. I know what Onyxx has said - allegedly BM beat her, usually with brushes, but occasionally with fists - and this goes along with the bruises I saw, and things that Jett has let slip since Onyxx stopped visiting her - but I wasn't there, I don't actually know. I do know that the next weekend after we had an online "discussion" with BM, Onyxx would come to our house with new clothes, jewelry, makeup - and later she told me she was rewarded for causing trouble. Onyxx asked me - about a year ago I think - why BM did not love her. I told her that people sometimes don't know [I]how [/I]to love, and I was sure BM did love her but maybe didn't know how to show it. And then my little girl told me that she used to come up with things to do to upset me and husband, because she wanted BM to love her. It's a similar thing. Poor kid wants Mom to love him, more than the drugs/alcohol. There is a light, though - if the courts let up on her, and she stops? And he isn't living in your home? He will [I]see[/I] that it is not [I]you[/I] and your husband, but [I]her[/I]. Prepare for it to take a while, though. [/QUOTE]
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