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<blockquote data-quote="Allan-Matlem" data-source="post: 421010" data-attributes="member: 10"><p>Marg , </p><p>Thanks for the input on punctuation. I try to put everything i say into one sentence. </p><p></p><p>Here are some thoughts </p><p></p><p>bio mom - I think the social worker as an impartial party should be the one who is seen to be making the decisions </p><p> she could use Plan b to find out his concerns - living with bio mom is one solution to his concerns. What are his concerns ? Once we have good quality concerns we can work on solutions which are mutually satisfactory. In discussions I try not to say yes/ or no - ' I am not saying ' No ' does not mean I am saying yes , it means further discussion , and maybe a solutions which addresses his concerns and yours. </p><p></p><p>Homework / academic goals and vision for the future </p><p></p><p>I think we need to have a discussion about his vision and goals. For a moment forget the present difficulties and try and focus on what you want for yourself. We can't create a vision if we are stuck in the present. Then lets see how we can get there. </p><p>Plan B on homework will help us find out what is getting in his way , his concerns etc . Procedures are great but we need to tie them to his concerns.Buddy-tutors , peer mentors help also here.</p><p></p><p>Mentors - I really believe in ' personal coaching ' for teens , or at least having someone who the kid admires and trusts. As parents we are pretty limited by the emotional baggage </p><p></p><p>Allan</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Allan-Matlem, post: 421010, member: 10"] Marg , Thanks for the input on punctuation. I try to put everything i say into one sentence. Here are some thoughts bio mom - I think the social worker as an impartial party should be the one who is seen to be making the decisions she could use Plan b to find out his concerns - living with bio mom is one solution to his concerns. What are his concerns ? Once we have good quality concerns we can work on solutions which are mutually satisfactory. In discussions I try not to say yes/ or no - ' I am not saying ' No ' does not mean I am saying yes , it means further discussion , and maybe a solutions which addresses his concerns and yours. Homework / academic goals and vision for the future I think we need to have a discussion about his vision and goals. For a moment forget the present difficulties and try and focus on what you want for yourself. We can't create a vision if we are stuck in the present. Then lets see how we can get there. Plan B on homework will help us find out what is getting in his way , his concerns etc . Procedures are great but we need to tie them to his concerns.Buddy-tutors , peer mentors help also here. Mentors - I really believe in ' personal coaching ' for teens , or at least having someone who the kid admires and trusts. As parents we are pretty limited by the emotional baggage Allan [/QUOTE]
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