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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 620744" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Ha! Recovering, I get the biggest charge out of you.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>(Yes, I realize there are multiple layers to that statement, every one of them true.)</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I love that quote.</p><p></p><p>Pretty much, it all comes back to what every spiritual belief system tells us: Free will, perception, the capacity to define ourselves and our situations. These things are all in our power. I am beginning to believe they are our responsibilities.</p><p></p><p>This capacity to define, and eventually, to define with joy.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I see that so clearly in my own story now, Recovering. Not as nicely, of course. Everything with me seems to come through that thin veil of self (and other) contempt. Something to do with judgment, something to do with shame, patronization, awe.... So I still have some work to do. But I see the choice in a way I never did, before. I see an alternative to what I knew, to what I know, of my story. I think what I see is a new way to see.</p><p></p><p>But I am not there, yet.</p><p></p><p>COM posted something about a child and sunshine. Or about an adult and sunshine. I see a child. That opened this newness for me. That concept of a child laughing, the sun on her face and her palms.</p><p></p><p>Love it.</p><p></p><p>There is a sense, not so much of discovery as of process in all this.</p><p></p><p>Thank you, each of you, for accompanying me, for sticking with me.</p><p></p><p>There have been times (and I suppose there will be others) when even I would have left myself alone with it, if I could.</p><p></p><p>Self desertion doesn't seem to be an option, anymore.</p><p></p><p>Time. I am no longer panicked at what I see, at what I know. I have time.</p><p></p><p>That must be what it feels like, once the fear and shame are manageable.</p><p></p><p>That sense of peace and time and...NOW.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Know what all these pieces brought to mind? The imagery of the empty bowl, of course, with all that implies, spiritually. But the bowl was of metal ~ copper, bronze...gold? And when the bowl is played, Recovering? The quality of the sound, the strength and brightness and purity of it...lights up the very heavens.</p><p></p><p>Well, I cannot work the quote part on that last paragraph. I would have included the whole thing. I love that imagery! I see you roaring along the highway by the sea, sun in your hair, sun in the air, sun everywhere, so bright and strong and clean.</p><p></p><p>There is a salt tang to the air, and what could be better than that.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 620744, member: 17461"] Ha! Recovering, I get the biggest charge out of you. :O) (Yes, I realize there are multiple layers to that statement, every one of them true.) I love that quote. Pretty much, it all comes back to what every spiritual belief system tells us: Free will, perception, the capacity to define ourselves and our situations. These things are all in our power. I am beginning to believe they are our responsibilities. This capacity to define, and eventually, to define with joy. I see that so clearly in my own story now, Recovering. Not as nicely, of course. Everything with me seems to come through that thin veil of self (and other) contempt. Something to do with judgment, something to do with shame, patronization, awe.... So I still have some work to do. But I see the choice in a way I never did, before. I see an alternative to what I knew, to what I know, of my story. I think what I see is a new way to see. But I am not there, yet. COM posted something about a child and sunshine. Or about an adult and sunshine. I see a child. That opened this newness for me. That concept of a child laughing, the sun on her face and her palms. Love it. There is a sense, not so much of discovery as of process in all this. Thank you, each of you, for accompanying me, for sticking with me. There have been times (and I suppose there will be others) when even I would have left myself alone with it, if I could. Self desertion doesn't seem to be an option, anymore. Time. I am no longer panicked at what I see, at what I know. I have time. That must be what it feels like, once the fear and shame are manageable. That sense of peace and time and...NOW. :O) Know what all these pieces brought to mind? The imagery of the empty bowl, of course, with all that implies, spiritually. But the bowl was of metal ~ copper, bronze...gold? And when the bowl is played, Recovering? The quality of the sound, the strength and brightness and purity of it...lights up the very heavens. Well, I cannot work the quote part on that last paragraph. I would have included the whole thing. I love that imagery! I see you roaring along the highway by the sea, sun in your hair, sun in the air, sun everywhere, so bright and strong and clean. There is a salt tang to the air, and what could be better than that. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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