I'm doing really well in my detachment phase. Yes I still speak to difficult child often and offer love and encouragement but I don't engage in his drama or let his decisions affect my mood.
Two recent examples -
First, as I mentioned in my last post he got a puppy without asking permission from my father. He lied to both of us about it. I was talking to him yesterday and he mentioned the dog. Instead of lecturing him I told him straight up that it was his choice to get the dog without permission and that whatever consequences follow because of that decisions are his and his alone. I told him it's not my problem, it's his and he needs to deal with it.
Second example is that he keeps texting me saying he's starving. My dad brings him food once a week but instead of rationing it out he eats it all in a day. He also has options like walking to the food pantry each Monday for groceries, however every week he finds an excuse not to go. It's either too cold, or he's tired, or sick, etc. He also has the option to call his social worker but again excuses. Just now I told him to call her and he said he tried but the number doesn't work. However when I tried it worked just fine. I only let it ring twice bc I just wanted to check the number. I don't want to talk to her. That's his job. I called him out on it and suddenly it rings for him.
So yeah - the old me would be all worried and anxious that he's having problems and he's hungry. I would have called the sw FOR him and tried to find a way to fix his problem. However, the new me is calmly sitting here reminding myself that he has many options and it's his problem if he doesn't want to use them. If he doesn't want to walk a few blocks or take the time to make a phone call on his behalf that's his problem and if he wants to solve it HE will figure out a way to do so!
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