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Perspective lost and found
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 93175" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Amazing what you can find in a lavender-scented tub. :bath:</p><p></p><p>I had actually allowed myself to hope that thank you *would* return home to live. When he was in Residential Treatment Center (RTC), he pulled hugely difficult child type stunts and it didn't faze me a bit, because he was there, staff was dealing with it, his choices and his consequences. But with the move to TLP, I slipped and allowed myself to imagine him living at home permanently in the not horribly distant future. So every difficult child thing he's been pulling, I haven't been dealing with- because it's been pushing that return to home for good date back further and further. My fault. My weakness.</p><p></p><p>While I want him to live at home again, what I want doesn't matter and in fact really messes up my ability to deal with him. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. *If* he ever is ready to come home, he will show us by making good choices. I need to quit holding my breath. Until he does live here, his choices don't affect us and therefore I have absolutely no reason to get aggravated or frustrated or obsessed. </p><p></p><p>So simple and it took me five long days and nights to figure it out. His choices, his problem. We are simply not in the equation at all.</p><p></p><p>Phew/whew.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 93175, member: 8"] Amazing what you can find in a lavender-scented tub. [img]:bath:[/img] I had actually allowed myself to hope that thank you *would* return home to live. When he was in Residential Treatment Center (RTC), he pulled hugely difficult child type stunts and it didn't faze me a bit, because he was there, staff was dealing with it, his choices and his consequences. But with the move to TLP, I slipped and allowed myself to imagine him living at home permanently in the not horribly distant future. So every difficult child thing he's been pulling, I haven't been dealing with- because it's been pushing that return to home for good date back further and further. My fault. My weakness. While I want him to live at home again, what I want doesn't matter and in fact really messes up my ability to deal with him. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. *If* he ever is ready to come home, he will show us by making good choices. I need to quit holding my breath. Until he does live here, his choices don't affect us and therefore I have absolutely no reason to get aggravated or frustrated or obsessed. So simple and it took me five long days and nights to figure it out. His choices, his problem. We are simply not in the equation at all. Phew/whew. [/QUOTE]
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