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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 93511" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>They do wear you out. </p><p>The months of positive growth gives us hope and then we start the downward spiral. I say we because I go up and down in my relationship with difficult child as much as he does emotionally. </p><p>I have reached the point where I don't want difficult child to live with me. He has his own mind and his own way of doing (or not doing) things. The problem may be that my difficult child can't quite do it 100% independently. I may not have a choice.</p><p>Your son on the other hand could probably function but he seeks out negative influences. </p><p></p><p>Sue, he isn't coming home again. </p><p></p><p>He will come for brief visits until he wears out his welcome by trying to victimize or manipulate his siblings. He hasn't gotten it yet and he isn't going to get it in another year. He may be closer to the truth of how to live in this world but he isn't going to be done cooking. </p><p></p><p>After 18, he will go AWOL any time he wants. Having the freedom of choice after such a structured life is like binging after a long diet. He is going to over do. Hopefully he will find a middle ground between structured living by force and a wild free for all. </p><p></p><p>Little of his behavior has anything to do with you. He just wants to blame you. I get it all the time because he can't blame himself and he wants to vent. It's brutal. </p><p></p><p>So try to focus on the long term goal of getting him to somewhat independent life at 18. Maybe the fear of living on the streets will scare him. The world after 18 is voluntary education or work. None of which puts up with <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> that they pull in h.s.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 93511, member: 3"] They do wear you out. The months of positive growth gives us hope and then we start the downward spiral. I say we because I go up and down in my relationship with difficult child as much as he does emotionally. I have reached the point where I don't want difficult child to live with me. He has his own mind and his own way of doing (or not doing) things. The problem may be that my difficult child can't quite do it 100% independently. I may not have a choice. Your son on the other hand could probably function but he seeks out negative influences. Sue, he isn't coming home again. He will come for brief visits until he wears out his welcome by trying to victimize or manipulate his siblings. He hasn't gotten it yet and he isn't going to get it in another year. He may be closer to the truth of how to live in this world but he isn't going to be done cooking. After 18, he will go AWOL any time he wants. Having the freedom of choice after such a structured life is like binging after a long diet. He is going to over do. Hopefully he will find a middle ground between structured living by force and a wild free for all. Little of his behavior has anything to do with you. He just wants to blame you. I get it all the time because he can't blame himself and he wants to vent. It's brutal. So try to focus on the long term goal of getting him to somewhat independent life at 18. Maybe the fear of living on the streets will scare him. The world after 18 is voluntary education or work. None of which puts up with :censored: that they pull in h.s. [/QUOTE]
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