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Perspective lost and found
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<blockquote data-quote="Janna" data-source="post: 93607" data-attributes="member: 2737"><p>Sue,</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you found your perspective. I think leaving it in his lap, at his age, is what is best.</p><p></p><p>I will say, while Brandon was out of the home, through all the Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s, the foster cares, he was always difficult. It was my intention to wait, like you, for him to change, before reunification. I thought, too, just give me 2 or 3 good months, and then we will talk.</p><p></p><p>But I couldn't get one month out of him. </p><p></p><p>I think, for me, I got tired of waiting. I figured if he came home, acted the same way, he'd get the same consequences here he'd get anywhere else. Especially the natural ones.</p><p></p><p>Oddly enough, since he's been home he's been great. The first few weeks he did a few stupid things, and he suffered the consequences for his actions. Since then, no issues. Not one call from school this year. No problems. I stay overly involved, I'm sure more than the typical parent, but ya know, I don't care if he likes it or not. He has to be watched, yes, and babysat at times, yes, but it's okay. He's home.</p><p></p><p>It's interesting to me how he couldn't hold it together at the foster's though. The school was calling them once a week, suspending him, he was just getting in so much trouble. None of that now. Same school. Same principal. </p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you can't get to the point where you can bring thank you home. I know it's exhausting, frustrating, and no matter what anyone tells you here (which, by the way, I think you are one of the most amazing mothers here), you still feel the guilt. I can relate to you because I have been through some of this, too, not only with Brandon, but now with Dylan being placed out into an Residential Treatment Facility (RTF). I understand the middle of the night issues.</p><p></p><p>No matter how much you tell yourself it's not your fault and you keep the perspective in place, it's always going to hang with you. That feeling. The "what if's". You have to follow your gut, do what you think is right for *your* son, keep it going and pray some day you can look back and say "it was worth it". </p><p></p><p>I'm very sorry thank you is on a landslide. It sounds pretty obvious he has some attitude issues. The whole "I can do what I want" thing is frustrating, once they get in that frame of mind, it's hard to get it out. I hope those around him can get him on a better track, soon.</p><p></p><p>J</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Janna, post: 93607, member: 2737"] Sue, I'm glad you found your perspective. I think leaving it in his lap, at his age, is what is best. I will say, while Brandon was out of the home, through all the Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s, the foster cares, he was always difficult. It was my intention to wait, like you, for him to change, before reunification. I thought, too, just give me 2 or 3 good months, and then we will talk. But I couldn't get one month out of him. I think, for me, I got tired of waiting. I figured if he came home, acted the same way, he'd get the same consequences here he'd get anywhere else. Especially the natural ones. Oddly enough, since he's been home he's been great. The first few weeks he did a few stupid things, and he suffered the consequences for his actions. Since then, no issues. Not one call from school this year. No problems. I stay overly involved, I'm sure more than the typical parent, but ya know, I don't care if he likes it or not. He has to be watched, yes, and babysat at times, yes, but it's okay. He's home. It's interesting to me how he couldn't hold it together at the foster's though. The school was calling them once a week, suspending him, he was just getting in so much trouble. None of that now. Same school. Same principal. I'm sorry you can't get to the point where you can bring thank you home. I know it's exhausting, frustrating, and no matter what anyone tells you here (which, by the way, I think you are one of the most amazing mothers here), you still feel the guilt. I can relate to you because I have been through some of this, too, not only with Brandon, but now with Dylan being placed out into an Residential Treatment Facility (RTF). I understand the middle of the night issues. No matter how much you tell yourself it's not your fault and you keep the perspective in place, it's always going to hang with you. That feeling. The "what if's". You have to follow your gut, do what you think is right for *your* son, keep it going and pray some day you can look back and say "it was worth it". I'm very sorry thank you is on a landslide. It sounds pretty obvious he has some attitude issues. The whole "I can do what I want" thing is frustrating, once they get in that frame of mind, it's hard to get it out. I hope those around him can get him on a better track, soon. J [/QUOTE]
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