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Peter Lanza's story and our connection to it
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 622026" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>"It's strange to live in a state of sustained incomprehension about what has become the most important fact about you."</p><p></p><p>Peter Lanza</p><p></p><p>"It doesn't have to be understood to be real."</p><p></p><p>Peter Lanza</p><p></p><p>"This defines who I am and I can't stand that, but you have to accept it."</p><p></p><p>Peter Lanza</p><p></p><p>"...there could be no remembering him outside of who he became."</p><p></p><p>Peter Lanza</p><p></p><p>The strongest impression I came away with is that, like so many of us here, when faced with something so incomprehensibly bad, the father consciously intends to do what good he can. He visited with those families whose children's lives were taken by his child. His grief for them, for their grief, for their loss, is as intense as his grief for the slow inevitability, for the disappearance and transformation of his own son.</p><p></p><p>I am struck by his courage, by his refusal to justify or rationalize, by his commitment to standing up, to doing what he can.</p><p></p><p>I wish he could know about us, wish he could come here and heal and share and take strength from us and with us.</p><p></p><p>For those who haven't read Viktor Frankl's <u>Man's Search for Meaning</u>, many of us here have taken strength from that book. He writes about the horror of the concentration camps in the sense of having been stripped of his identity, of his humanity, and about what it is to be human. That when everything is taken away, then all we have is how we will chose to respond.</p><p></p><p>Elie Weisel's <u>Night</u> is a beautifully written compilation of wisdom and pain.</p><p></p><p>This is from Ette Hilesum's posthumously published journal, <u>An Interrupted Life</u>:</p><p></p><p>"I knew at once: I shall have to pray for this German soldier. Out of all those uniforms one has been given a face, now. There will be other faces as well, in which we can read something we understand: that German soldiers suffer, as well. There are no frontiers between suffering people, and we must pray for them all."</p><p></p><p>Here is another:</p><p></p><p>"And you must be able to bear your sorrow; even if it seems to crush you, you will be able to stand up again, for human beings are so strong, and your sorrow must become an integral part of yourself, part of your body and your soul, you mustn't run away from it, but bear it like an adult. Do not relieve your feelings through hatred, do not seek to be avenged....</p><p></p><p>Give your sorrow all the space and shelter in yourself that it is due, for is everyone bears his grief honestly and courageously, the sorrow that now fills the world will abate. But if you do not clear a decent shelter for your sorrow, and instead reserve most of the space inside you for hatred and thoughts of revenge ~ from which new sorrows will be born for others ~ then sorrow will never cease in this world and multiply. And if you have given sorrow the space its gentle origins demand, then you may truly say: life is beautiful, and so rich. So beautiful and so rich that it makes you want to believe in God."</p><p></p><p>Etty Hilesum was killed in a concentration camp. Her journal was found after the War and was edited and published posthumously.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 622026, member: 17461"] "It's strange to live in a state of sustained incomprehension about what has become the most important fact about you." Peter Lanza "It doesn't have to be understood to be real." Peter Lanza "This defines who I am and I can't stand that, but you have to accept it." Peter Lanza "...there could be no remembering him outside of who he became." Peter Lanza The strongest impression I came away with is that, like so many of us here, when faced with something so incomprehensibly bad, the father consciously intends to do what good he can. He visited with those families whose children's lives were taken by his child. His grief for them, for their grief, for their loss, is as intense as his grief for the slow inevitability, for the disappearance and transformation of his own son. I am struck by his courage, by his refusal to justify or rationalize, by his commitment to standing up, to doing what he can. I wish he could know about us, wish he could come here and heal and share and take strength from us and with us. For those who haven't read Viktor Frankl's [U]Man's Search for Meaning[/U], many of us here have taken strength from that book. He writes about the horror of the concentration camps in the sense of having been stripped of his identity, of his humanity, and about what it is to be human. That when everything is taken away, then all we have is how we will chose to respond. Elie Weisel's [U]Night[/U] is a beautifully written compilation of wisdom and pain. This is from Ette Hilesum's posthumously published journal, [U]An Interrupted Life[/U]: "I knew at once: I shall have to pray for this German soldier. Out of all those uniforms one has been given a face, now. There will be other faces as well, in which we can read something we understand: that German soldiers suffer, as well. There are no frontiers between suffering people, and we must pray for them all." Here is another: "And you must be able to bear your sorrow; even if it seems to crush you, you will be able to stand up again, for human beings are so strong, and your sorrow must become an integral part of yourself, part of your body and your soul, you mustn't run away from it, but bear it like an adult. Do not relieve your feelings through hatred, do not seek to be avenged.... Give your sorrow all the space and shelter in yourself that it is due, for is everyone bears his grief honestly and courageously, the sorrow that now fills the world will abate. But if you do not clear a decent shelter for your sorrow, and instead reserve most of the space inside you for hatred and thoughts of revenge ~ from which new sorrows will be born for others ~ then sorrow will never cease in this world and multiply. And if you have given sorrow the space its gentle origins demand, then you may truly say: life is beautiful, and so rich. So beautiful and so rich that it makes you want to believe in God." Etty Hilesum was killed in a concentration camp. Her journal was found after the War and was edited and published posthumously. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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