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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
phone issues
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 751525" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>I am glad that you aren't giving in and using the forum to vent. This is the perfect place for that.</p><p></p><p>Keep repeating that to yourself. His choice is weed or a phone. If you pay for the phone, you are essentially paying for the weed. Every dollar he doesn't have to spend on what should be his adult responsibilities means he can spend it on drugs.</p><p></p><p>My therapist said that I might as well directly buy the drugs for her. That woke me up. I stopped paying for things that an adult should pay for themselves.</p><p></p><p>I wanted to share something that happened this weekend. My husband and I stopped paying for our daughter's phone when she was 21. Yet, in all of the drug using years, she always managed to have a phone. She would have one of those non-contract pay up front plans and always had a cheap phone.</p><p></p><p>When she came over yesterday, she was so excited to show me her new IPhone. She said that she had a "real" phone plan now that she gotten her credit score back up and qualified for an AT&T plan.</p><p></p><p>Your son can get there someday. You can help him with setting strong boundaries and expecting him to take care of himself.</p><p></p><p>Those texts he is sending are to try to worry you so you will give in. He is throwing out the hook and trying to reel you back in.</p><p></p><p>Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 751525, member: 1967"] I am glad that you aren't giving in and using the forum to vent. This is the perfect place for that. Keep repeating that to yourself. His choice is weed or a phone. If you pay for the phone, you are essentially paying for the weed. Every dollar he doesn't have to spend on what should be his adult responsibilities means he can spend it on drugs. My therapist said that I might as well directly buy the drugs for her. That woke me up. I stopped paying for things that an adult should pay for themselves. I wanted to share something that happened this weekend. My husband and I stopped paying for our daughter's phone when she was 21. Yet, in all of the drug using years, she always managed to have a phone. She would have one of those non-contract pay up front plans and always had a cheap phone. When she came over yesterday, she was so excited to show me her new IPhone. She said that she had a "real" phone plan now that she gotten her credit score back up and qualified for an AT&T plan. Your son can get there someday. You can help him with setting strong boundaries and expecting him to take care of himself. Those texts he is sending are to try to worry you so you will give in. He is throwing out the hook and trying to reel you back in. Kathy [/QUOTE]
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