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Substance Abuse
Phone or no phone?
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 594922" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Ok so my difficult children phone is not working. We ordered me a new phone so that we could send my difficult child my old phone but have not done it yet. Now my difficult child is clearly making some bad decisions, is most likely using again, and does not seem to be doing any of the hard work he needs to do. I talked to my friend at the sober house and he suggested we not reward him with a phone. My husband and I are both on the fence, with me leaning against and him leaning for..... but neither of us definite. I do think giving him a phone is in a sense enabling him but it would also give us a way to keep track of him through tracking and a way to reach him. I know from when he was homeless before without a phone it was pretty agonizing at times.</p><p></p><p>However at the moment he seems to have a way to get onto FB so we are getting a sense of him at least.</p><p></p><p>So the big reasons not to do it are: It gives him a way to keep in touch with the not so great elements out there, ie drug connections, it gives him a way to stay in touch and bonded with ex-girlfriend who he wants to come back here for, it in a sense rewards him for his bad behavior.</p><p></p><p>The reasons to do it are: It gives us a way to see where he is, a way for him to keep in touch (not that he will), a way for my friend to see him and get a read on him, a way for him to contact the exgf and maybe fight so that he doesnt come back (probably a pipe dream of mine)...</p><p></p><p>Any thoughts about this? I know we have talked about this before but now I am facing a new decision about it.</p><p></p><p>*TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 594922, member: 15801"] Ok so my difficult children phone is not working. We ordered me a new phone so that we could send my difficult child my old phone but have not done it yet. Now my difficult child is clearly making some bad decisions, is most likely using again, and does not seem to be doing any of the hard work he needs to do. I talked to my friend at the sober house and he suggested we not reward him with a phone. My husband and I are both on the fence, with me leaning against and him leaning for..... but neither of us definite. I do think giving him a phone is in a sense enabling him but it would also give us a way to keep track of him through tracking and a way to reach him. I know from when he was homeless before without a phone it was pretty agonizing at times. However at the moment he seems to have a way to get onto FB so we are getting a sense of him at least. So the big reasons not to do it are: It gives him a way to keep in touch with the not so great elements out there, ie drug connections, it gives him a way to stay in touch and bonded with ex-girlfriend who he wants to come back here for, it in a sense rewards him for his bad behavior. The reasons to do it are: It gives us a way to see where he is, a way for him to keep in touch (not that he will), a way for my friend to see him and get a read on him, a way for him to contact the exgf and maybe fight so that he doesnt come back (probably a pipe dream of mine)... Any thoughts about this? I know we have talked about this before but now I am facing a new decision about it. *TL [/QUOTE]
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