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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 272786" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>Don't blame yourself. She is an individual who must take control of her life. She is making the bad decisions. Your other kids have made it through well.</p><p> </p><p>My diva has an aweful disrespect of me and seems unhappy alot. I tell her it is because of the choices she has made in life. She told me that if I had made better choices, she would have a better life. NO WAY! You make your own happiness. Whenever you expect anyone else to set up your happiness, you are bound to be unhappy. There are great people that are great because they didn't let life's problems bring them down. Everyone has problems and everyone has the choice on how to face those problems. Do you tackle them or let them grow? Your daughter is looking in the wrong places for happiness. That is not your fault. She knows your view points and some day she will think, "I wish I would have listened. Mom knows what she is talking about." Like my diva, she may purposely being going the opposite way as you have set up for her. Not your fault.</p><p> </p><p>I hope she soon discovers that criminal boyfriend is not what life is about. She is so attracted to his disrespect of rules and his, "I can do whatever I want" attitude. She may have to fall fast and hard before figuring it out.</p><p> </p><p>I know you want to keep that safety net secure for your little girl. Sometimes we have to hide that net, not let them know it is there and allow them to fall deeper than we can handle before they realize the path they are on is not the one they want. You will always want her in your life but she needs to know her boundaries within your life. You can not allow her to treat you like dirt. Send the message that she is not to ask for help unless she can show proper respect. If she really doesn't appreciate your help, you do not need to give it. You are not her slave.</p><p> </p><p>I know how hard it is. I have an 18 yr old daughter myself who has decided that her life is in no way my business but I had better jump when she says so. Ummmm, I don't think so. Like today, she calls me at work at about 11:30, "Mom, you need to go get the jeep for me." "Why?" I have to babysit H's kids and need a car seat to take J." "H's kids don't get home until after school." "K and I want to go for lunch." "Then have K get the car seat or the jeep for you. I have to work 6 hours today." She has to figure things out on her own or go without since that is life basically. I know she can and she can do it without manipulating me into being her puppet.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 272786, member: 5096"] Don't blame yourself. She is an individual who must take control of her life. She is making the bad decisions. Your other kids have made it through well. My diva has an aweful disrespect of me and seems unhappy alot. I tell her it is because of the choices she has made in life. She told me that if I had made better choices, she would have a better life. NO WAY! You make your own happiness. Whenever you expect anyone else to set up your happiness, you are bound to be unhappy. There are great people that are great because they didn't let life's problems bring them down. Everyone has problems and everyone has the choice on how to face those problems. Do you tackle them or let them grow? Your daughter is looking in the wrong places for happiness. That is not your fault. She knows your view points and some day she will think, "I wish I would have listened. Mom knows what she is talking about." Like my diva, she may purposely being going the opposite way as you have set up for her. Not your fault. I hope she soon discovers that criminal boyfriend is not what life is about. She is so attracted to his disrespect of rules and his, "I can do whatever I want" attitude. She may have to fall fast and hard before figuring it out. I know you want to keep that safety net secure for your little girl. Sometimes we have to hide that net, not let them know it is there and allow them to fall deeper than we can handle before they realize the path they are on is not the one they want. You will always want her in your life but she needs to know her boundaries within your life. You can not allow her to treat you like dirt. Send the message that she is not to ask for help unless she can show proper respect. If she really doesn't appreciate your help, you do not need to give it. You are not her slave. I know how hard it is. I have an 18 yr old daughter myself who has decided that her life is in no way my business but I had better jump when she says so. Ummmm, I don't think so. Like today, she calls me at work at about 11:30, "Mom, you need to go get the jeep for me." "Why?" I have to babysit H's kids and need a car seat to take J." "H's kids don't get home until after school." "K and I want to go for lunch." "Then have K get the car seat or the jeep for you. I have to work 6 hours today." She has to figure things out on her own or go without since that is life basically. I know she can and she can do it without manipulating me into being her puppet. [/QUOTE]
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