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<blockquote data-quote="notwilling2giveup" data-source="post: 104754" data-attributes="member: 4202"><p>Thanks to everyone who responded so quickly. I appreciate the understanding, advice and prayers very much. Validation, it makes a difference - for him and myself. </p><p></p><p>I have a couple of questions and I was not sure how to respond to the indivdual responses so its all together.</p><p></p><p>First for lost yet found - what is mobile response?</p><p></p><p>We are going to try to make it through Sunday night (we will see, pray, pray) and Monday afternoon his aunt will take him to the medication appointment and then to his therapist (he sees her every Monday). She is going to talk to his therapist about residential placement. I interned at Eliada in Asheville, NC (awesome place, they have a website) while I was in school and really feel like this would be the best place for him, at least that I know of. His aunt is going to talk to his grandparents about it. His therapist will most likely support it because they have talked from the beginning about alternatives and if him being in the home with us was beneficial for him. His aunt is open to the idea and we talked pros and cons, really the only con she thought of was she will miss him. He needs the structure, and more intense therapy and sadly we, nor his grandparents can provide him with the amount of structure and care that he needs. He tells his grandmother what to do and him and his grandfather were almost to blows.</p><p> We are debating on whether to have him admitted to short term care in the mean time or to try and keep him in the home for Christmas, while working on the admission for the first of the year. That is a major risk because if he finds out he is being admitted he is likely to run away again. Comments?? I admit we really are walking on eggshells every day. I am lucky that my SO and I have a working relationship and are able to support each other. She said from the beginning that it was up to me if he came to live with us because she could not do it with out me. Just don't know what to do for now. Hopefully he will stablize pretty fast.</p><p></p><p>The Nurse Practiction situation is one that has bothered his aunt and I since he came to live with us. We are thinking of contacting Medicaid to see how they have been billing it because she made the changes without any consultation with the p-doctor (and they could be committing fraud). In fact, his aunt has not even met this p-doctor. His initial diagnosis was three or so yrs past and he was with his grandparents. I have mentioned the neuropsychologist evaluation to her and we and have looked for one in our area. That is something to follow up one. His aunt began looking for a new P-doctor last week and found one highly recommended.</p><p></p><p>We agree along with his therapist that his diagnosis's fit him. When I first read stuff about Borderline (BPD) I jumped up and showed his aunt, because it explained everything! and gave me my first understanding of what was going on with him. I remind myself constantly it is not about me, he is coping the best he knows how, etc. This is why I think a residential program would be beneficial. We bought walking on eggshells + and the workbook, I hate you don' leave me, the Dialetical workbook, but we have such busy lives and honestly trying to get him to do anything other than play a video game is a full on battle. He deserves to have a chance to learn this coping skills and we have got to stop kidding ourselves and feeling guilty and do what is really best for him.</p><p></p><p>D-man is really very smart. One of the characteristics that can drive me mad about BiPolar (BP) is that he can be totally charming and confident when it is in his interest. He is highly manulipuative and passive agressive. He waited until after he thought I would have already changed my bandage on my toe to call back and 'fessed up only because he though his aunt was mad at him because she was not engaging him. He quite understands a normal sense of humor, he is a funny kid (coping mechanicism)and when he is manic it is non-stop. This was passive aggressive - asking if she thought it was funny and saying it was a joke. For example, in the past he has made hurtful commments and then stated, I am just joking. This is scary because it is something he has not really done before. He is more talk than action. For him this took for-thought and meant he was at the house thinking about not liking me and what he could do to me. He tries to play it safe, because he could have been more direct and just physically hurt me himself, but he is smart enough to try and avoid huge negative consquences, by saying it was a joke and he did not mean it. You know how a person can look at you when they want to hurt you? I know that look, and the fact that he is 6'3 and 215 pounds (honest he wears a size 14 shoe) to my 5'3 130 pounds scares me. </p><p> I do feel for him, he is so tortured inside with his thoughts and inability to accept any personal responsibility. We can have our moments when he wants me to watch him play his games. Really he emotionally about 9.</p><p></p><p>Him developing breasts was from increased prolactin from the risperdal because once he was off it they went way down. </p><p></p><p>Small world you made the comment that he is not on a first-line mood stabilizer and provided examples. This has drove me crazy since August and has been my number one question - WHY WHY WHY is he not on a mood stabilizer? I do not know why this nurse practioner feels as if he is best treated with an atypical and anti depressant. He for sure, has been diagnosis's bi-polar but I dont know the evaluation process. For sure we are going address this on Monday - thank heavens. </p><p></p><p>Thanks again everyone for the support and welcoming me to the board. Maybe eventually I will learn to do a short reply!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="notwilling2giveup, post: 104754, member: 4202"] Thanks to everyone who responded so quickly. I appreciate the understanding, advice and prayers very much. Validation, it makes a difference - for him and myself. I have a couple of questions and I was not sure how to respond to the indivdual responses so its all together. First for lost yet found - what is mobile response? We are going to try to make it through Sunday night (we will see, pray, pray) and Monday afternoon his aunt will take him to the medication appointment and then to his therapist (he sees her every Monday). She is going to talk to his therapist about residential placement. I interned at Eliada in Asheville, NC (awesome place, they have a website) while I was in school and really feel like this would be the best place for him, at least that I know of. His aunt is going to talk to his grandparents about it. His therapist will most likely support it because they have talked from the beginning about alternatives and if him being in the home with us was beneficial for him. His aunt is open to the idea and we talked pros and cons, really the only con she thought of was she will miss him. He needs the structure, and more intense therapy and sadly we, nor his grandparents can provide him with the amount of structure and care that he needs. He tells his grandmother what to do and him and his grandfather were almost to blows. We are debating on whether to have him admitted to short term care in the mean time or to try and keep him in the home for Christmas, while working on the admission for the first of the year. That is a major risk because if he finds out he is being admitted he is likely to run away again. Comments?? I admit we really are walking on eggshells every day. I am lucky that my SO and I have a working relationship and are able to support each other. She said from the beginning that it was up to me if he came to live with us because she could not do it with out me. Just don't know what to do for now. Hopefully he will stablize pretty fast. The Nurse Practiction situation is one that has bothered his aunt and I since he came to live with us. We are thinking of contacting Medicaid to see how they have been billing it because she made the changes without any consultation with the p-doctor (and they could be committing fraud). In fact, his aunt has not even met this p-doctor. His initial diagnosis was three or so yrs past and he was with his grandparents. I have mentioned the neuropsychologist evaluation to her and we and have looked for one in our area. That is something to follow up one. His aunt began looking for a new P-doctor last week and found one highly recommended. We agree along with his therapist that his diagnosis's fit him. When I first read stuff about Borderline (BPD) I jumped up and showed his aunt, because it explained everything! and gave me my first understanding of what was going on with him. I remind myself constantly it is not about me, he is coping the best he knows how, etc. This is why I think a residential program would be beneficial. We bought walking on eggshells + and the workbook, I hate you don' leave me, the Dialetical workbook, but we have such busy lives and honestly trying to get him to do anything other than play a video game is a full on battle. He deserves to have a chance to learn this coping skills and we have got to stop kidding ourselves and feeling guilty and do what is really best for him. D-man is really very smart. One of the characteristics that can drive me mad about BiPolar (BP) is that he can be totally charming and confident when it is in his interest. He is highly manulipuative and passive agressive. He waited until after he thought I would have already changed my bandage on my toe to call back and 'fessed up only because he though his aunt was mad at him because she was not engaging him. He quite understands a normal sense of humor, he is a funny kid (coping mechanicism)and when he is manic it is non-stop. This was passive aggressive - asking if she thought it was funny and saying it was a joke. For example, in the past he has made hurtful commments and then stated, I am just joking. This is scary because it is something he has not really done before. He is more talk than action. For him this took for-thought and meant he was at the house thinking about not liking me and what he could do to me. He tries to play it safe, because he could have been more direct and just physically hurt me himself, but he is smart enough to try and avoid huge negative consquences, by saying it was a joke and he did not mean it. You know how a person can look at you when they want to hurt you? I know that look, and the fact that he is 6'3 and 215 pounds (honest he wears a size 14 shoe) to my 5'3 130 pounds scares me. I do feel for him, he is so tortured inside with his thoughts and inability to accept any personal responsibility. We can have our moments when he wants me to watch him play his games. Really he emotionally about 9. Him developing breasts was from increased prolactin from the risperdal because once he was off it they went way down. Small world you made the comment that he is not on a first-line mood stabilizer and provided examples. This has drove me crazy since August and has been my number one question - WHY WHY WHY is he not on a mood stabilizer? I do not know why this nurse practioner feels as if he is best treated with an atypical and anti depressant. He for sure, has been diagnosis's bi-polar but I dont know the evaluation process. For sure we are going address this on Monday - thank heavens. Thanks again everyone for the support and welcoming me to the board. Maybe eventually I will learn to do a short reply! [/QUOTE]
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