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Please help this grandmother with ADD advice.
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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 123429" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>Hi Ruby.</p><p></p><p>Welcome to the site.</p><p></p><p>You're in a tough position, for sure, regardles off anyone's outside opinion. </p><p></p><p>I don't know you or your daughter or granddaughter, or their situation, so I can only speak from my own situation. Granted, I don't party. Heck, I rarely get an hour or two away from the kids. If I do "party", the kids usually participate - we have friends over and play card games that they are allowed in, we watch movies they can watch, etc. </p><p></p><p>But I can tell you that there are a lot of people outside of my home that perceive both of my difficult child's to be wonderful young men who just need a tighter rein. My mom was one of them for a while, until difficult child 1 stayed with her for an extended period of time. And once he settled into her home and the new wore off, he was a difficult child for her, too. In fact, there are probably a huge number of people on this board who have heard the same thing over and over and over.</p><p></p><p>I don't want to discount you and your observations. Having been involved in the school district I'm sure has allowed you to see a lot. But I just want to point out that a huge number of our kids "honeymoon" - or behave for people for periods of time before they let their "real self" loose. Maybe this is what you see and your granddaughter is a different child at home. Maybe your granddaughter really does just need a tighter rein, that part I can't answer.</p><p></p><p>I hope this does not offend you...its just my own situation - I really can't judge your situation. However, being a mother of difficult child's, I would love nothing more than to have someone come into my home and say "see, if you just do this, they're fine!" and teach me how to handle my difficult child's differently if that could really make a difference in the long run. Oh yeah, right, I've done that...we did 6 months of in-home therapy.... Anyway, Perhaps you can offer to help your daughter? </p><p></p><p>Regardless, it is hard to see someone you love struggle. There are many helpful folks here. Welcome.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 123429, member: 1848"] Hi Ruby. Welcome to the site. You're in a tough position, for sure, regardles off anyone's outside opinion. I don't know you or your daughter or granddaughter, or their situation, so I can only speak from my own situation. Granted, I don't party. Heck, I rarely get an hour or two away from the kids. If I do "party", the kids usually participate - we have friends over and play card games that they are allowed in, we watch movies they can watch, etc. But I can tell you that there are a lot of people outside of my home that perceive both of my difficult child's to be wonderful young men who just need a tighter rein. My mom was one of them for a while, until difficult child 1 stayed with her for an extended period of time. And once he settled into her home and the new wore off, he was a difficult child for her, too. In fact, there are probably a huge number of people on this board who have heard the same thing over and over and over. I don't want to discount you and your observations. Having been involved in the school district I'm sure has allowed you to see a lot. But I just want to point out that a huge number of our kids "honeymoon" - or behave for people for periods of time before they let their "real self" loose. Maybe this is what you see and your granddaughter is a different child at home. Maybe your granddaughter really does just need a tighter rein, that part I can't answer. I hope this does not offend you...its just my own situation - I really can't judge your situation. However, being a mother of difficult child's, I would love nothing more than to have someone come into my home and say "see, if you just do this, they're fine!" and teach me how to handle my difficult child's differently if that could really make a difference in the long run. Oh yeah, right, I've done that...we did 6 months of in-home therapy.... Anyway, Perhaps you can offer to help your daughter? Regardless, it is hard to see someone you love struggle. There are many helpful folks here. Welcome. [/QUOTE]
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