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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 644240" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You'll find that if you don't fight with a dysfunctional person, you take the wind out of their sails. With my difficult child if he is intent on causing a fight, I am learning to give him a response that does not give him the option of exploding against me.</p><p></p><p>Him: Why did you say such a stupid thing?</p><p></p><p>Me: I have to go and hope we can talk again when we are both calm (get off phone)</p><p></p><p>If my husband asked me about my therapy appointments, I'd have probably said, "That is private. You chose not to come."</p><p></p><p>Him: (screaming) What do you mean it's private? We're married. Blah, blah, blah.</p><p></p><p>Me: (leaving room or repeating what I said the first time in a very calm voice) I'm going to take a shower now. (Then do it)</p><p></p><p>This works so much better than feeding the monkey, so to speak. But you have to stay calm and in control. In time, they really might stop, as my son has, because they are not getting us upset or having an opening to explode, which is what their goal is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 644240, member: 1550"] You'll find that if you don't fight with a dysfunctional person, you take the wind out of their sails. With my difficult child if he is intent on causing a fight, I am learning to give him a response that does not give him the option of exploding against me. Him: Why did you say such a stupid thing? Me: I have to go and hope we can talk again when we are both calm (get off phone) If my husband asked me about my therapy appointments, I'd have probably said, "That is private. You chose not to come." Him: (screaming) What do you mean it's private? We're married. Blah, blah, blah. Me: (leaving room or repeating what I said the first time in a very calm voice) I'm going to take a shower now. (Then do it) This works so much better than feeding the monkey, so to speak. But you have to stay calm and in control. In time, they really might stop, as my son has, because they are not getting us upset or having an opening to explode, which is what their goal is. [/QUOTE]
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