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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 644304" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Welcome, Shan.</p><p></p><p>I am glad you are here with us.</p><p></p><p>The opportunity to tell our stories and receive validation changes everything. I remember how freeing it was for me, when I learned the term "gaslighting."</p><p></p><p>I couldn't believe there could be a word for what had happened to me.</p><p></p><p>The existence of that word, the fact that these kinds of things had happened to other people enough that someone had actually come up with a term to describe it meant that I was not flawed or inept or stupid, after all.</p><p></p><p>You could have blown me over with a feather.</p><p></p><p>And that is how light and free I felt, too, when I first learned that term.</p><p></p><p>Gaslighting.</p><p></p><p>If you google that term, you will understand more about what is happening to you, I think.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It may be that you suffer from depression because your husband has a vested interest in making you think you are crazy.</p><p></p><p>In a way, you are living like a prisoner of war who has been brainwashed, over time, into believing all kinds of terrible things about himself, when the truth is that prisoners do not have the freedom even to be themselves.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Those words are very cruel words. They are a perfect example of something called "global condemnation." The intent behind communications of this nature is to sabotage and destroy the victim from the heart out.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry this is happening to you. You do not deserve to be hurt and torn into this way.</p><p></p><p>No one deserves it.</p><p></p><p>But you are here with us now, and things will begin to look very different to you, soon enough.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes.</p><p></p><p>I agree.</p><p></p><p>Sadism.</p><p></p><p>Vicious.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes!</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>But you are here with us, now.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is how a real man sees a woman.</p><p></p><p>As a living, breathing, very real person who merits cherishing and protection.</p><p></p><p>I think your husband cannot do that, Shan.</p><p></p><p>He cannot see you.</p><p></p><p>I could be a thousand kinds of wrong here, but as you begin reclaiming yourself he is going to up the ante. He has a vested interest in keeping you broken and confused.</p><p></p><p>He is not going to be happy about your coming into clarity.</p><p></p><p>Take care, Shan.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 644304, member: 17461"] Welcome, Shan. I am glad you are here with us. The opportunity to tell our stories and receive validation changes everything. I remember how freeing it was for me, when I learned the term "gaslighting." I couldn't believe there could be a word for what had happened to me. The existence of that word, the fact that these kinds of things had happened to other people enough that someone had actually come up with a term to describe it meant that I was not flawed or inept or stupid, after all. You could have blown me over with a feather. And that is how light and free I felt, too, when I first learned that term. Gaslighting. If you google that term, you will understand more about what is happening to you, I think. It may be that you suffer from depression because your husband has a vested interest in making you think you are crazy. In a way, you are living like a prisoner of war who has been brainwashed, over time, into believing all kinds of terrible things about himself, when the truth is that prisoners do not have the freedom even to be themselves. Those words are very cruel words. They are a perfect example of something called "global condemnation." The intent behind communications of this nature is to sabotage and destroy the victim from the heart out. I am sorry this is happening to you. You do not deserve to be hurt and torn into this way. No one deserves it. But you are here with us now, and things will begin to look very different to you, soon enough. Yes. I agree. Sadism. Vicious. Yes! :O) But you are here with us, now. Cedar This is how a real man sees a woman. As a living, breathing, very real person who merits cherishing and protection. I think your husband cannot do that, Shan. He cannot see you. I could be a thousand kinds of wrong here, but as you begin reclaiming yourself he is going to up the ante. He has a vested interest in keeping you broken and confused. He is not going to be happy about your coming into clarity. Take care, Shan. [/QUOTE]
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