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Please keep this friendly and light...To spank or not to spank?
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 591127" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>SuZir I totally agree there are some children that spanking doesn't work with, and that often make the behavior of the child worse. Travis was one of them. His were strictly for safety issues.....and was more often a swat to get his attention with the actual punishment being something else. </p><p></p><p>Can't say I've heard of the hair pulling. But I've yanked on an ear or two when the situation called for it, or pressed finger nails into an armpit or the soft underside of an arm......not enough to actually hurt but enough to get either their attention or instant cooperation. (and sometimes that instant cooperation is necessary) I've popped a child on the mouth for biting, if that is the only way to get the message across that biting is unacceptable. (you have to remember I deal with autistics in this family who don't always connect the dots) Pop, not smack...... I've smacked my kids maybe once or twice in their lifetimes and I will admit it's as much reflex as anything. (don't mouth off to me, it <strong>will</strong> get you smacked......that hand has a mind of it's own) It so startled them they never repeated it, even now as adults they won't. </p><p></p><p>Now I will say one thing................and I know many will believe it's abuse. I don't and no one will convince me otherwise. If a child physically attacked me I'd take them down without hesitation, quickly. I will use whatever force is necessary. If that child is young, it won't take much to restrain them. (I know how to properly do it) If it's a teen, they're going to be laid out on the floor in short order. I don't play around. I firmly believe that a person has every right to defend themselves when it comes to physical violence, including a parent. After such an attack the child would find themselves removed from the home, either to treatment or whatever. I don't tolerate abusive behavior from anyone, child or adult. And yes, I've spoken with cps /police in 3 different states and no they don't have an issue with it, despite what people tend to believe. Even if they did, I'd do the same. I'm not about to stand there and let someone use me as a punching bag or run from my own kid. Not gonna happen. Everyone has their limits, that one is mine. This was always clearly understood with my kids, both easy child and difficult child, and they had no doubt I'd do it. They chose wisely not to test those waters. </p><p></p><p>Discipline has to be countered with plenty of love and affection, teaching/guiding, fun and laughter. It should never be doled out in the heat of anger. There were times when I had to walk away and a child had to wait to find out what consequence they'd have for whatever they'd done or not done, so that I could handle it calmly and with a clear head. I took great care as to what words I used with my kids, how I said things, I rarely raised my voice. In fact, they knew if I lowered my voice someone was in trouble. lol</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 591127, member: 84"] SuZir I totally agree there are some children that spanking doesn't work with, and that often make the behavior of the child worse. Travis was one of them. His were strictly for safety issues.....and was more often a swat to get his attention with the actual punishment being something else. Can't say I've heard of the hair pulling. But I've yanked on an ear or two when the situation called for it, or pressed finger nails into an armpit or the soft underside of an arm......not enough to actually hurt but enough to get either their attention or instant cooperation. (and sometimes that instant cooperation is necessary) I've popped a child on the mouth for biting, if that is the only way to get the message across that biting is unacceptable. (you have to remember I deal with autistics in this family who don't always connect the dots) Pop, not smack...... I've smacked my kids maybe once or twice in their lifetimes and I will admit it's as much reflex as anything. (don't mouth off to me, it [B]will[/B] get you smacked......that hand has a mind of it's own) It so startled them they never repeated it, even now as adults they won't. Now I will say one thing................and I know many will believe it's abuse. I don't and no one will convince me otherwise. If a child physically attacked me I'd take them down without hesitation, quickly. I will use whatever force is necessary. If that child is young, it won't take much to restrain them. (I know how to properly do it) If it's a teen, they're going to be laid out on the floor in short order. I don't play around. I firmly believe that a person has every right to defend themselves when it comes to physical violence, including a parent. After such an attack the child would find themselves removed from the home, either to treatment or whatever. I don't tolerate abusive behavior from anyone, child or adult. And yes, I've spoken with cps /police in 3 different states and no they don't have an issue with it, despite what people tend to believe. Even if they did, I'd do the same. I'm not about to stand there and let someone use me as a punching bag or run from my own kid. Not gonna happen. Everyone has their limits, that one is mine. This was always clearly understood with my kids, both easy child and difficult child, and they had no doubt I'd do it. They chose wisely not to test those waters. Discipline has to be countered with plenty of love and affection, teaching/guiding, fun and laughter. It should never be doled out in the heat of anger. There were times when I had to walk away and a child had to wait to find out what consequence they'd have for whatever they'd done or not done, so that I could handle it calmly and with a clear head. I took great care as to what words I used with my kids, how I said things, I rarely raised my voice. In fact, they knew if I lowered my voice someone was in trouble. lol [/QUOTE]
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