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Please, PLEASE someone HELP ME!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 403596" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>((((((((((hugs))))))))))</p><p> </p><p>It is time to sit down and write up a safety plan. Who does what when difficult child melts down. How to keep the other kids safe is he is hitting, throwing things, etc... When the other kids shoudl call 911, leave the house, etc.... </p><p> </p><p>Having one of these, written and posted, that all the kids know about, will go a LONG way toward showing social services that you are doing all you can to keep the other kids safe. I will let you in on a badly kept secret. It is HARD to find foster care for kids. They do NOT like to take all the other kids away because then they have to try to find ways to keep them together and housed somewhere. SO the risk of them taking your kids is there, but isn't as big as many people think. Also, the mandate of most social service agencies is to keep families together, or for the best interests of the child. Only in cases of abuse by a parent is it better to remove the kids. So do NOT let that keep you from asking for help/respite. </p><p> </p><p>in my opinion respite is the least of yoru needs. It is very very important but is only a small part of what your family needs. Have you considered asking to have him sent to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or group home? Residential Treatment Center (RTC) would give him the best chance of getting help as they could work on his issues and really structure his environment with enough staff to keep him safe. That simply cannot be done in a home. It just cannot. A group home probably would not help his behaviors and problems, but would keep the rest of you safe from him. Safety MUST be the top priority. Regardless of anything else, physical violence should be a call to have him transported to a psychiatric hospital for evaluation. This hsould NOT be negotiable, not with husband nor difficult child nor anyone else. </p><p> </p><p>You should go to a DV center and ask if they can help. They have a wide range of resources, though placement for your son isn't one of them. They can help with the safety plan, and with therapy for you, difficult child, the other kids, and the entire family. It is highly probably that he has done things to your daughter that you don't even have an inkling of. He will likely start with the other kids too, even if they are older. So you may have to get him out of the house for a while if he cannot make safe behavior choices.</p><p> </p><p>I don't know what resources the military has, but it is worth asking. Janet has a LOT of resources and knowledge in that area, so be sure to check out what she recommends. She can PM you specifics if you have private messages enabled in your profile.</p><p> </p><p>I totally understand how you feel, and the stress you are under. Many ofu shave been there done that, and we know you are not exaggerating. The period of good behavior when things change is called honeymooning, and it is very very common. </p><p> </p><p>(((((hugs)))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 403596, member: 1233"] ((((((((((hugs)))))))))) It is time to sit down and write up a safety plan. Who does what when difficult child melts down. How to keep the other kids safe is he is hitting, throwing things, etc... When the other kids shoudl call 911, leave the house, etc.... Having one of these, written and posted, that all the kids know about, will go a LONG way toward showing social services that you are doing all you can to keep the other kids safe. I will let you in on a badly kept secret. It is HARD to find foster care for kids. They do NOT like to take all the other kids away because then they have to try to find ways to keep them together and housed somewhere. SO the risk of them taking your kids is there, but isn't as big as many people think. Also, the mandate of most social service agencies is to keep families together, or for the best interests of the child. Only in cases of abuse by a parent is it better to remove the kids. So do NOT let that keep you from asking for help/respite. in my opinion respite is the least of yoru needs. It is very very important but is only a small part of what your family needs. Have you considered asking to have him sent to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or group home? Residential Treatment Center (RTC) would give him the best chance of getting help as they could work on his issues and really structure his environment with enough staff to keep him safe. That simply cannot be done in a home. It just cannot. A group home probably would not help his behaviors and problems, but would keep the rest of you safe from him. Safety MUST be the top priority. Regardless of anything else, physical violence should be a call to have him transported to a psychiatric hospital for evaluation. This hsould NOT be negotiable, not with husband nor difficult child nor anyone else. You should go to a DV center and ask if they can help. They have a wide range of resources, though placement for your son isn't one of them. They can help with the safety plan, and with therapy for you, difficult child, the other kids, and the entire family. It is highly probably that he has done things to your daughter that you don't even have an inkling of. He will likely start with the other kids too, even if they are older. So you may have to get him out of the house for a while if he cannot make safe behavior choices. I don't know what resources the military has, but it is worth asking. Janet has a LOT of resources and knowledge in that area, so be sure to check out what she recommends. She can PM you specifics if you have private messages enabled in your profile. I totally understand how you feel, and the stress you are under. Many ofu shave been there done that, and we know you are not exaggerating. The period of good behavior when things change is called honeymooning, and it is very very common. (((((hugs))))) [/QUOTE]
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