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Positive update, for me at least :)
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<blockquote data-quote="LauraH" data-source="post: 761642" data-attributes="member: 22877"><p>Needless to say, I was and still am very angry about the nastygram text my son sent me Wednesday night. I did not hear from hit at all yesterday. He called today and I did not answer. Later this evening I called him back. He apologized for the other night (heartfelt and sincere or not, I couldn't really tell). He got his last paycheck and was able to rent the room in the AirB&B for another week so didn't have to go to the homeless shelter. He didn't ask me for anything but was (maybe) dropping hints like "I need this" or "I have to get that." I responded with total silence. </p><p></p><p>After a pause where neither of said anything, I found myself saying, in a very firm but unemotional voice "I want to tell you something. I am extremely angry over that text you sent me. You are entitled to your emotions, whether they make sense to me or not. But you are not entitled to speak to me the way you did. I would not tolerate that from my best friend or Steve (my husband) and I'm certainly not going to tolerate it from my son. For your own sake, I hope this is the last time you speak to me that way, verbally, via text, or any other way." </p><p></p><p>I think he was stunned, because all I heard was him taking a couple of deep breaths and he did not say a word. Maybe that got through to him, maybe not. But I regained a little more power over the situation, and OMG it felt good! After that we had a pleasant conversation until I had to hang up and get back to work. I am still smiling and not really sure where that loving but firm backbone came from. Maybe now he knows I mean business and he's lost most of ability to control or manipulate me or my emotions. I don't know how he will behave going forward, but I know how I will respond if he acts out.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LauraH, post: 761642, member: 22877"] Needless to say, I was and still am very angry about the nastygram text my son sent me Wednesday night. I did not hear from hit at all yesterday. He called today and I did not answer. Later this evening I called him back. He apologized for the other night (heartfelt and sincere or not, I couldn't really tell). He got his last paycheck and was able to rent the room in the AirB&B for another week so didn't have to go to the homeless shelter. He didn't ask me for anything but was (maybe) dropping hints like "I need this" or "I have to get that." I responded with total silence. After a pause where neither of said anything, I found myself saying, in a very firm but unemotional voice "I want to tell you something. I am extremely angry over that text you sent me. You are entitled to your emotions, whether they make sense to me or not. But you are not entitled to speak to me the way you did. I would not tolerate that from my best friend or Steve (my husband) and I'm certainly not going to tolerate it from my son. For your own sake, I hope this is the last time you speak to me that way, verbally, via text, or any other way." I think he was stunned, because all I heard was him taking a couple of deep breaths and he did not say a word. Maybe that got through to him, maybe not. But I regained a little more power over the situation, and OMG it felt good! After that we had a pleasant conversation until I had to hang up and get back to work. I am still smiling and not really sure where that loving but firm backbone came from. Maybe now he knows I mean business and he's lost most of ability to control or manipulate me or my emotions. I don't know how he will behave going forward, but I know how I will respond if he acts out. [/QUOTE]
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