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POSSIBLE BREAKTHROUGH WITH difficult child 2!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 110873"><p>If difficult child 2 is strictly ODD and nothing else, then I think you're on to something.</p><p></p><p>If, however, there are things of a biological nature, such as mood disorders, anxiety, ADHD going or things that are trauma based due to his past and if he's unstable he's not going to be able to hold it together for long. He may initially, but it will eventually become too much. 'Normalcy' alone for our kids is hard to maintain on a good day. Add in undx'd and untreated disorders and expectations that seem insurmountable (to one unstable) and it's going to fall apart.</p><p></p><p>Once he's diagnosis'd and stable, then these things can be added in.</p><p></p><p>There also seems to be a lot of all or nothing. Like Susie said, that is overwhelming. Start small and work up. If you start at the top you have nowhere to go but down. </p><p></p><p>I probably wouldn't give points for medications. If I were going to make an issue out of it, it would be non-negotiable. Nothing else happens until the medications happen. Then do points for the rest. What happens if he decides he doesn't care if he gets the points he's still not going to take his medications? Then what recourse do you have because you have basically made this deal with him and his response will be, 'So. I don't care if I don't get the points.'?</p><p></p><p>I think losing all points for the day because of a tantrum or meltdown is a bit much and can create an 'I can't win so why bother' attitude. It also creates a 'one bad thing wipes out all of the good' mindset. How many adults do you know throw a hissy fit because of a bad day at work? They should get to keep the points for what they have already done and come up with something else for the tantrums. The tantrum doesn't take away the good things they did. </p><p></p><p>Just my two cents.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 110873"] If difficult child 2 is strictly ODD and nothing else, then I think you're on to something. If, however, there are things of a biological nature, such as mood disorders, anxiety, ADHD going or things that are trauma based due to his past and if he's unstable he's not going to be able to hold it together for long. He may initially, but it will eventually become too much. 'Normalcy' alone for our kids is hard to maintain on a good day. Add in undx'd and untreated disorders and expectations that seem insurmountable (to one unstable) and it's going to fall apart. Once he's diagnosis'd and stable, then these things can be added in. There also seems to be a lot of all or nothing. Like Susie said, that is overwhelming. Start small and work up. If you start at the top you have nowhere to go but down. I probably wouldn't give points for medications. If I were going to make an issue out of it, it would be non-negotiable. Nothing else happens until the medications happen. Then do points for the rest. What happens if he decides he doesn't care if he gets the points he's still not going to take his medications? Then what recourse do you have because you have basically made this deal with him and his response will be, 'So. I don't care if I don't get the points.'? I think losing all points for the day because of a tantrum or meltdown is a bit much and can create an 'I can't win so why bother' attitude. It also creates a 'one bad thing wipes out all of the good' mindset. How many adults do you know throw a hissy fit because of a bad day at work? They should get to keep the points for what they have already done and come up with something else for the tantrums. The tantrum doesn't take away the good things they did. Just my two cents. [/QUOTE]
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