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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 712609" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Im not sure how to answer so I hoped somebody else did first but I dont want you to feel ignored.</p><p></p><p>He is 18, legal age whether he is mature or not. You have little leverage. I would not let him have the car. He can work for his own car. I never get buying anyone who abuses anything a car. If he kills somebody while drunk or high, the car is in your name. Sell it. I would.</p><p></p><p>Make him or dad pay for his own tux, prom tickets, or name brand clothes. He is old enough and has enough money to buy weed and who knows what other drugs? He can buy his own leisure items too and that leaves him less money for drugs and booze.</p><p></p><p>Ok, now the facts. He left your home and Dad is ok with him doing these things under his roof. There is nothing you can do other than let him face consequences once he gets into trouble. Dont enable him even if Dad does.</p><p></p><p>You can only control one person...you. Not your son or ex. So you can choose to still love your son, of course, but to detach from his decisions, the consequences and his outcome. You can choose to go on with your life and still laugh and have fun and have gratitude for your loved ones who behave well and are good to you. Dont let son fill up every space in your head. Obsessing/crying wont change him or ex. Most of us learned to detach to varying degrees.</p><p></p><p>Others should come along. Do nice things for YOU today!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 712609, member: 1550"] Im not sure how to answer so I hoped somebody else did first but I dont want you to feel ignored. He is 18, legal age whether he is mature or not. You have little leverage. I would not let him have the car. He can work for his own car. I never get buying anyone who abuses anything a car. If he kills somebody while drunk or high, the car is in your name. Sell it. I would. Make him or dad pay for his own tux, prom tickets, or name brand clothes. He is old enough and has enough money to buy weed and who knows what other drugs? He can buy his own leisure items too and that leaves him less money for drugs and booze. Ok, now the facts. He left your home and Dad is ok with him doing these things under his roof. There is nothing you can do other than let him face consequences once he gets into trouble. Dont enable him even if Dad does. You can only control one person...you. Not your son or ex. So you can choose to still love your son, of course, but to detach from his decisions, the consequences and his outcome. You can choose to go on with your life and still laugh and have fun and have gratitude for your loved ones who behave well and are good to you. Dont let son fill up every space in your head. Obsessing/crying wont change him or ex. Most of us learned to detach to varying degrees. Others should come along. Do nice things for YOU today!! [/QUOTE]
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