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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 712646" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am sorry you have to deal with this. I know it must be hard. I would pull back some. I would not text daily. Just maybe once a week. You don't want to be following him around chasing him for affection. Just giving him a reminder once in a while that you are there. I would give him a set amount of time that you will pay for his phone and then I would stop paying for it. The more that you pay for, the more money he has to spend on drugs and alcohol. I know you want to be connected, and it is a trade-off. Only you can decide what is and is not worth it to you.</p><p></p><p>Please, PLEASE do not give him the car. Please give it to your other son who has good grades and has earned it. Or sell it. But do NOT allow someone you know is drunk and high and strongly inclined to operate a vehicle while impaired to have the car. If you allow him to have the car, you are giving him a lethal weapon. One that will likely harm both himself and others. Love your son enough to keep the vehicle away from him. If he takes the car without permission, love him enough to report the car as stolen.</p><p></p><p>Yes, you read that right. LOVE him enough to report it as stolen. It could save his life by getting him off of the road sooner. It also could teach him to not take your vehicle without permission. He is 18, old enough to know better and old enough to be accountable for his actions.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 712646, member: 1233"] I am sorry you have to deal with this. I know it must be hard. I would pull back some. I would not text daily. Just maybe once a week. You don't want to be following him around chasing him for affection. Just giving him a reminder once in a while that you are there. I would give him a set amount of time that you will pay for his phone and then I would stop paying for it. The more that you pay for, the more money he has to spend on drugs and alcohol. I know you want to be connected, and it is a trade-off. Only you can decide what is and is not worth it to you. Please, PLEASE do not give him the car. Please give it to your other son who has good grades and has earned it. Or sell it. But do NOT allow someone you know is drunk and high and strongly inclined to operate a vehicle while impaired to have the car. If you allow him to have the car, you are giving him a lethal weapon. One that will likely harm both himself and others. Love your son enough to keep the vehicle away from him. If he takes the car without permission, love him enough to report the car as stolen. Yes, you read that right. LOVE him enough to report it as stolen. It could save his life by getting him off of the road sooner. It also could teach him to not take your vehicle without permission. He is 18, old enough to know better and old enough to be accountable for his actions. [/QUOTE]
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