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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 682720" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi there Nomad</p><p> Me too. Such an inspiration.</p><p> This is a tough one, I am there with you. My daughters can fly off the handle at puzzling times, I never really know what their reaction will be. The saying goes "Don't take things personally".... hard to do when it is right up in my face.</p><p>I do think it is right to let them know when they are disrespectful. Be it by saying so, and/or limiting contact, we are working on <em>our comfort zone</em>, not theirs...(right?) <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p></p><p>I think self-protection is super important because it is hard to <em>do anything</em> when feeling upset, hurt, and apprehensive.</p><p></p><p>I like this article linked below. It talks of something called "brilliant sanity"</p><p></p><p>"There is no place to look for brilliant sanity except where we already are. Brilliant sanity can only be found in the present moment: right here, right now. There’s just no place else it can be. It’s deceptively simple. It’s simple, but it can be challenging. How so? Aren’t we right here? What does it mean to “be present” or “be in the present moment”?"</p><p></p><p><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-courage-be-present/200912/ending-suffering-tuning-the-present-moment" target="_blank">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-courage-be-present/200912/ending-suffering-tuning-the-present-moment</a></p><p></p><p>So maybe Nomad, instead of being a "blank slate" you are being present?</p><p></p><p>There is another phrase "Radical Acceptance"</p><p></p><p><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pieces-mind/201207/radical-acceptance" target="_blank">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pieces-mind/201207/radical-acceptance</a></p><p></p><p>I think that is what the Serenity Prayer is talking about.</p><p></p><p>So, we can be all at the same time, be present, have radical acceptance about our d cs, but also think positively about their potential to find their purpose and meaning.</p><p>We can think it, project good energy and thoughts, but if it doesn't happen in the time frame we wish, that's okay too. We can't control it anyways......It is what it is.....</p><p>Writing to myself here, too.......</p><p></p><p>It is a way out of the endless worrying and downward spiral I suffer with the unfolding drama attached to my two. Of course I slip and slide, but I feel like I don't <em>go all the way </em>to the bottom of the rabbit hole like before. I kind of catch myself, grab onto a root or something and slowly pull myself back up.</p><p></p><p>Hopefully I will get better and better at this. Still working at it.</p><p></p><p>I feel like I have lost a big chunk of myself and need to continue to work at regrouping. So, each time I am caught off guard, it is like starting from ground zero.</p><p>Then, I felt myself going full swing with no contact and kind of, well,<em> liking it, maybe too much. </em></p><p>Is that anger, or....overprotecting myself? Or a respite from years of ups and downs and crazy stuff......yes, I needed a break, for sure. So, how to find balance, middle ground,<em> lovingly</em> detach and maintain sanity, or<em> brilliant sanity</em>.</p><p></p><p>Life just got so darn complicated intertwined with the goings on of my two.</p><p>It is a whole new way of responding and reacting.</p><p>So, baby steps.</p><p>Sorry, rambling here.</p><p>I have not <em>achieved </em>all of this, Nomad, it is a work in progress.</p><p></p><p>It is definitely way more refreshing to have a positive spin on life..........</p><p></p><p>Just got to keep swimming.......</p><p></p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 682720, member: 19522"] Hi there Nomad Me too. Such an inspiration. This is a tough one, I am there with you. My daughters can fly off the handle at puzzling times, I never really know what their reaction will be. The saying goes "Don't take things personally".... hard to do when it is right up in my face. I do think it is right to let them know when they are disrespectful. Be it by saying so, and/or limiting contact, we are working on [I]our comfort zone[/I], not theirs...(right?) ;) I think self-protection is super important because it is hard to [I]do anything[/I] when feeling upset, hurt, and apprehensive. I like this article linked below. It talks of something called "brilliant sanity" "There is no place to look for brilliant sanity except where we already are. Brilliant sanity can only be found in the present moment: right here, right now. There’s just no place else it can be. It’s deceptively simple. It’s simple, but it can be challenging. How so? Aren’t we right here? What does it mean to “be present” or “be in the present moment”?" [URL]https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-courage-be-present/200912/ending-suffering-tuning-the-present-moment[/URL] So maybe Nomad, instead of being a "blank slate" you are being present? There is another phrase "Radical Acceptance" [URL]https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pieces-mind/201207/radical-acceptance[/URL] I think that is what the Serenity Prayer is talking about. So, we can be all at the same time, be present, have radical acceptance about our d cs, but also think positively about their potential to find their purpose and meaning. We can think it, project good energy and thoughts, but if it doesn't happen in the time frame we wish, that's okay too. We can't control it anyways......It is what it is..... Writing to myself here, too....... It is a way out of the endless worrying and downward spiral I suffer with the unfolding drama attached to my two. Of course I slip and slide, but I feel like I don't [I]go all the way [/I]to the bottom of the rabbit hole like before. I kind of catch myself, grab onto a root or something and slowly pull myself back up. Hopefully I will get better and better at this. Still working at it. I feel like I have lost a big chunk of myself and need to continue to work at regrouping. So, each time I am caught off guard, it is like starting from ground zero. Then, I felt myself going full swing with no contact and kind of, well,[I] liking it, maybe too much. [/I] Is that anger, or....overprotecting myself? Or a respite from years of ups and downs and crazy stuff......yes, I needed a break, for sure. So, how to find balance, middle ground,[I] lovingly[/I] detach and maintain sanity, or[I] brilliant sanity[/I]. Life just got so darn complicated intertwined with the goings on of my two. It is a whole new way of responding and reacting. So, baby steps. Sorry, rambling here. I have not [I]achieved [/I]all of this, Nomad, it is a work in progress. It is definitely way more refreshing to have a positive spin on life.......... Just got to keep swimming....... (((HUGS))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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