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General Parenting
Power struggles and talking back -- need suggestions?
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 171479" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>I think that keeping a child busy and trying to anticipate and avoid power struggles is helpful. Involve her in your errands as much as possible.</p><p> </p><p>When you are shopping, let her help find the items. Show her how to find the expiration date on the milk so when she picks up a milk container she points out the date to you. When she starts to read, she can determine if the milk will be good long enough for your family. If you are paying in cash, give her the money at check out to pay. If you have self check outs, let her check the food out. </p><p> </p><p>Make a list of errands. Draw a map of how to get to them and ask her which route you should go to get them all in. That will be teaching her how to read maps.</p><p> </p><p>If she takes the keys again, "Would you like to unlock the car doors? Then you can put the keys on the front seat."</p><p> </p><p>Six year olds like to be busy - they are learning so much and like to learn hands-on. You may work with her on time - ask "How long do you think it will take us to do this errand?" Play learning games - looking for letters - one day see how many "A's" you can find between stops, ect. Keep her in a conversation.</p><p> </p><p>If you see a power struggle starting, try to change the subject. You know she doesn't plan on giving back the keys and she probably has no plans past holding on to those keys. So, you change the plan - it is o.k. for you to have the keys, can you open the car door or should I? She now has a task to focus on using the object she has in hand. If you feel it won't work, maybe adding, let's see how quickly we can get buckled in the car. Make it a game. Don't let her know that you are frustrated, that will sure to bring on the power struggle by instead using the time to spend your attention 100% on her - that is what she is looking for.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 171479, member: 5096"] I think that keeping a child busy and trying to anticipate and avoid power struggles is helpful. Involve her in your errands as much as possible. When you are shopping, let her help find the items. Show her how to find the expiration date on the milk so when she picks up a milk container she points out the date to you. When she starts to read, she can determine if the milk will be good long enough for your family. If you are paying in cash, give her the money at check out to pay. If you have self check outs, let her check the food out. Make a list of errands. Draw a map of how to get to them and ask her which route you should go to get them all in. That will be teaching her how to read maps. If she takes the keys again, "Would you like to unlock the car doors? Then you can put the keys on the front seat." Six year olds like to be busy - they are learning so much and like to learn hands-on. You may work with her on time - ask "How long do you think it will take us to do this errand?" Play learning games - looking for letters - one day see how many "A's" you can find between stops, ect. Keep her in a conversation. If you see a power struggle starting, try to change the subject. You know she doesn't plan on giving back the keys and she probably has no plans past holding on to those keys. So, you change the plan - it is o.k. for you to have the keys, can you open the car door or should I? She now has a task to focus on using the object she has in hand. If you feel it won't work, maybe adding, let's see how quickly we can get buckled in the car. Make it a game. Don't let her know that you are frustrated, that will sure to bring on the power struggle by instead using the time to spend your attention 100% on her - that is what she is looking for. [/QUOTE]
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Power struggles and talking back -- need suggestions?
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