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General Parenting
Power struggles and talking back -- need suggestions?
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<blockquote data-quote="tiredmommy" data-source="post: 171564" data-attributes="member: 1722"><p>Let's get this topic back on track. I'd hate to have to lock it because folks are getting bees in their bonnets. Remember, we are here to offer support, not criticism. Laurensmyprincess has come to us with some very real issues and has asked for us to offer some strategies. We live by words online... and as such we must be careful about how we respond. Assuming about one's parenting has no place on this board.</p><p> </p><p>Your child has a complicated medical diagnosis, make sure the appropriate health care providers are aware of any sudden changes in her behavior or downward trends. It's just prudent. My Duckie ***only*** has allergies but most parents of easy child's assume she is bratty and I've spoiled her rotten. Nothing could be farther from the truth. My close friends tell me I make them look bad because of my strict adherence to routines and natural consequences. But it still hurts when someone assumes it's poor parenting that causes your child's poor behavior.</p><p> </p><p>That being said, my Duckie tends to look for issues from which to draw a line in the sand. It's frustrating and exhausting for us both. The only thing that really has helped in this area has been to teach her which side her bread is buttered on. I know this sounds cruel, but we've gone through periods of time at home where she starts with me. This is a signal for me that she is over-<em>something</em>: tired, hungry, stimulated, who knows? Life quiets down considerably.</p><p> </p><p>"Mom, can I have a play date with A?" </p><p> </p><p>"No, because you obviously aren't up to it." </p><p> </p><p>"What do you mean?" </p><p> </p><p>"You've been mouthing off and taunting me all morning. Sorry."</p><p> </p><p>This sounds a bit like a punishment but it's really a consequence. We wouldn't let kids have a play date with a fever, so why would I do it with a behavior problem? The problem with this tact is, though, that you must realize things will escalate at least a little (but probably a lot) as Lauren thinks she being unfairly punished. Eventually, though, she'll realize that maybe she really does need some quiet time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tiredmommy, post: 171564, member: 1722"] Let's get this topic back on track. I'd hate to have to lock it because folks are getting bees in their bonnets. Remember, we are here to offer support, not criticism. Laurensmyprincess has come to us with some very real issues and has asked for us to offer some strategies. We live by words online... and as such we must be careful about how we respond. Assuming about one's parenting has no place on this board. Your child has a complicated medical diagnosis, make sure the appropriate health care providers are aware of any sudden changes in her behavior or downward trends. It's just prudent. My Duckie ***only*** has allergies but most parents of easy child's assume she is bratty and I've spoiled her rotten. Nothing could be farther from the truth. My close friends tell me I make them look bad because of my strict adherence to routines and natural consequences. But it still hurts when someone assumes it's poor parenting that causes your child's poor behavior. That being said, my Duckie tends to look for issues from which to draw a line in the sand. It's frustrating and exhausting for us both. The only thing that really has helped in this area has been to teach her which side her bread is buttered on. I know this sounds cruel, but we've gone through periods of time at home where she starts with me. This is a signal for me that she is over-[I]something[/I]: tired, hungry, stimulated, who knows? Life quiets down considerably. "Mom, can I have a play date with A?" "No, because you obviously aren't up to it." "What do you mean?" "You've been mouthing off and taunting me all morning. Sorry." This sounds a bit like a punishment but it's really a consequence. We wouldn't let kids have a play date with a fever, so why would I do it with a behavior problem? The problem with this tact is, though, that you must realize things will escalate at least a little (but probably a lot) as Lauren thinks she being unfairly punished. Eventually, though, she'll realize that maybe she really does need some quiet time. [/QUOTE]
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Power struggles and talking back -- need suggestions?
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