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Privacy and going public....rewards and risks.
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 654544" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>You are wise in protecting your privacy. Trust is a rare and precious thing, and must be earned a thousand times over through the course of relationship.</p><p>Give nothing away. No one is entitled to the details of your life, or of the private thoughts of your heart. </p><p></p><p>And here is the thing: Even here on the site, we cannot truly understand the way a thing feels unless we have lived it ourselves. Out in the real world where we are all making the best sense we know of things, most people will not have a frame of reference to empathize with what you are going through. This is not a fault of theirs or a mistaken confidence from you. That is just the way it is.</p><p></p><p>We are fortunate, so fortunate, to have one another, and this site.</p><p></p><p>Because the site is anonymous, I have been able to work through and face so much that was shaming, and to confront so many vulnerabilities. I learned about interacting with my children differently, and that seems to have made a difference, for them.</p><p></p><p>Blessing, then.</p><p></p><p>In my secret heart, I wish for them to be healthy and so happy, and I don't know how to do that. And that is such a sad and desperate feeling.</p><p></p><p>But here we all are, and we are making our ways through it.</p><p></p><p>Whoa. I was just thinking about how freaking awful it was when I first came here. There would have been (and there was and continues to be) no one, no one at all, who could have helped me the way this site has made a difference for me. </p><p></p><p>And that emphatically includes paid therapists, who are not always as strong or as wise as we need them to be.</p><p></p><p>It's a calculated risk that our families may discover our identities and be hurt by the things we describe here. Each of us is going to remember events differently. I would never want my children to be hurt over the things I've revealed here.</p><p></p><p>Anyone else?</p><p></p><p>Buzz off.</p><p></p><p>Buzz off (and, to coin a previously unknown legal phrase) copulate you, voyeur.</p><p></p><p>Heh.</p><p></p><p>Thanks, Lil.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/mcsmiley1.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":mcsmiley1:" title="mcsmiley1 :mcsmiley1:" data-shortname=":mcsmiley1:" /></p><p></p><p></p><p>I am going to add that last phrase to the needlepoint "f you, mom" in my saddlebag. </p><p></p><p>Actually, I think it is a truer thing that anyone reading here over time is being helped, and is growing. We are a remarkable group of very human beings, here on the site. Given the number of interactions, destructive interactions are so rare. </p><p></p><p>I like that about us so much.</p><p></p><p>Even if the voyeur or spam artist or whatever ~ even if their original purpose was to play the usual games, there is such strength and wisdom here that even they will learn a better way, over time.</p><p></p><p>I really do believe that with all my heart.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is a good idea.</p><p></p><p>Or maybe the best thing is for the kids to know how we have struggled to come to terms with what has happened to all of us. Surely they will face struggles as difficult. We learn such strength, here....</p><p></p><p>I will recreate my signature.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 654544, member: 17461"] You are wise in protecting your privacy. Trust is a rare and precious thing, and must be earned a thousand times over through the course of relationship. Give nothing away. No one is entitled to the details of your life, or of the private thoughts of your heart. And here is the thing: Even here on the site, we cannot truly understand the way a thing feels unless we have lived it ourselves. Out in the real world where we are all making the best sense we know of things, most people will not have a frame of reference to empathize with what you are going through. This is not a fault of theirs or a mistaken confidence from you. That is just the way it is. We are fortunate, so fortunate, to have one another, and this site. Because the site is anonymous, I have been able to work through and face so much that was shaming, and to confront so many vulnerabilities. I learned about interacting with my children differently, and that seems to have made a difference, for them. Blessing, then. In my secret heart, I wish for them to be healthy and so happy, and I don't know how to do that. And that is such a sad and desperate feeling. But here we all are, and we are making our ways through it. Whoa. I was just thinking about how freaking awful it was when I first came here. There would have been (and there was and continues to be) no one, no one at all, who could have helped me the way this site has made a difference for me. And that emphatically includes paid therapists, who are not always as strong or as wise as we need them to be. It's a calculated risk that our families may discover our identities and be hurt by the things we describe here. Each of us is going to remember events differently. I would never want my children to be hurt over the things I've revealed here. Anyone else? Buzz off. Buzz off (and, to coin a previously unknown legal phrase) copulate you, voyeur. Heh. Thanks, Lil. :O) :mcsmiley1: I am going to add that last phrase to the needlepoint "f you, mom" in my saddlebag. Actually, I think it is a truer thing that anyone reading here over time is being helped, and is growing. We are a remarkable group of very human beings, here on the site. Given the number of interactions, destructive interactions are so rare. I like that about us so much. Even if the voyeur or spam artist or whatever ~ even if their original purpose was to play the usual games, there is such strength and wisdom here that even they will learn a better way, over time. I really do believe that with all my heart. This is a good idea. Or maybe the best thing is for the kids to know how we have struggled to come to terms with what has happened to all of us. Surely they will face struggles as difficult. We learn such strength, here.... I will recreate my signature. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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