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Prodigal Son Returns-Long
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 123604" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I'd be cautious too because my daughter told me many times how she hated this and that, but she still did it (we have found out now that she stopped!). She also tried heroin. What she told me, now that she's clean, is that heavy pot users are usually doing other drugs too. She doesn't know any daily pot users who don't also do other, dangerous drugs and she also said pot makes you a loser--you don't want to do anything. Another thing I've learned, as a way to tell if your kids are serious about stopping, is that they MUST change friends to quit. My daughter TRIED to change friends but her old ones wouldn't leave her alone and bugged her about using drugs until she'd go back. We literally had to send her to another state (we made her leave home and she went to live with her straight arrow brother in Illinois) where she could start over, then she quit (she doesn't even smoke cigarettes anymore). She has been a wealth of info to us and others about drug use. I would also NOT believe that your son only sold to friends. "If you use, you sell," she said. It's a way of making money and people come up to you and ask about it anyways. It's an eerie, dangerous bond amongst users. They suffer their demons together and don't even need to know one another to feel connected due to their dangerous, illicit activities. My daughter told me what to look for to know if your kid is really serious about quitting and her first rule is "Are they changing friends?" Users don't like to hang with those who don't and are very scornful when somebody tries to quit. It's the same for alcohol. Alcoholics often find themselves lonely and lost for a while because they have to stop hanging with their drinking buddies. That alone can cause relapses, but that's when you know there's a serious attempt to change. Sounds like your son had a shock, and it's grounded him a bit, but his persuasion to try to make you smoke pot is not a good sign. I wouldn't believe he is only interested in using pot, especially if he has the same friends and if he admits he likes ecstasy. Sadly, we never really know how much are kids are into stuff. We know what they want to tell us and we believe because we love them. (and there's also that little bit of "not MY kid.") </p><p>I would see how things go, one day at a time. In the meantime, maybe tell him he will have random drug screenings at home. I'd make sure he realizes you mean no drugs ANYWHERE, including pot. </p><p>I knew a man who had used pot every day for twenty years and finally quit only because he got divorced and had custody of his daughter. He said it was VERY hard to quit. While it's not physically addictive, it was extremely hard psychologically for him to quit and he needed a lot of help from a therapist. I met him after he'd been clean for three years. His life changed dramatically after he quit. He became ambitious and had a great job. While he was using pot he had random jobs--bagging groceries, working in carnivals, kind of drifting and living off the generosity of his family. After he got married, he and his pothead wife drifted together. His wife became schizophrenic and the pot started making her hallucinate. She is still very ill, and he has full custody of his little girl now and is ten years clean. So it can happen, but it's really NOT easy to quit, even though it's not physically addictive. Good luck <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 123604, member: 1550"] I'd be cautious too because my daughter told me many times how she hated this and that, but she still did it (we have found out now that she stopped!). She also tried heroin. What she told me, now that she's clean, is that heavy pot users are usually doing other drugs too. She doesn't know any daily pot users who don't also do other, dangerous drugs and she also said pot makes you a loser--you don't want to do anything. Another thing I've learned, as a way to tell if your kids are serious about stopping, is that they MUST change friends to quit. My daughter TRIED to change friends but her old ones wouldn't leave her alone and bugged her about using drugs until she'd go back. We literally had to send her to another state (we made her leave home and she went to live with her straight arrow brother in Illinois) where she could start over, then she quit (she doesn't even smoke cigarettes anymore). She has been a wealth of info to us and others about drug use. I would also NOT believe that your son only sold to friends. "If you use, you sell," she said. It's a way of making money and people come up to you and ask about it anyways. It's an eerie, dangerous bond amongst users. They suffer their demons together and don't even need to know one another to feel connected due to their dangerous, illicit activities. My daughter told me what to look for to know if your kid is really serious about quitting and her first rule is "Are they changing friends?" Users don't like to hang with those who don't and are very scornful when somebody tries to quit. It's the same for alcohol. Alcoholics often find themselves lonely and lost for a while because they have to stop hanging with their drinking buddies. That alone can cause relapses, but that's when you know there's a serious attempt to change. Sounds like your son had a shock, and it's grounded him a bit, but his persuasion to try to make you smoke pot is not a good sign. I wouldn't believe he is only interested in using pot, especially if he has the same friends and if he admits he likes ecstasy. Sadly, we never really know how much are kids are into stuff. We know what they want to tell us and we believe because we love them. (and there's also that little bit of "not MY kid.") I would see how things go, one day at a time. In the meantime, maybe tell him he will have random drug screenings at home. I'd make sure he realizes you mean no drugs ANYWHERE, including pot. I knew a man who had used pot every day for twenty years and finally quit only because he got divorced and had custody of his daughter. He said it was VERY hard to quit. While it's not physically addictive, it was extremely hard psychologically for him to quit and he needed a lot of help from a therapist. I met him after he'd been clean for three years. His life changed dramatically after he quit. He became ambitious and had a great job. While he was using pot he had random jobs--bagging groceries, working in carnivals, kind of drifting and living off the generosity of his family. After he got married, he and his pothead wife drifted together. His wife became schizophrenic and the pot started making her hallucinate. She is still very ill, and he has full custody of his little girl now and is ten years clean. So it can happen, but it's really NOT easy to quit, even though it's not physically addictive. Good luck :) [/QUOTE]
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