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Prodigal Son Returns Minus the Humble Part
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 762425" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I agree with much that Busy writes. It seems to me that people are "helping" your stepson to show to themselves that they are doing "all" they can. There are things that can be done to support your stepson but not because he whines and tries to extract concessions and benefits, with a woe is me story.</p><p></p><p>Nobody here judges because we have done it all too. As long as your stepson is using meth daily, you are dealing with the drug 90 percent, and him 10 percent. It is as if your stepson has turned into a raccoon. You may get the raccoon to go to job interviews, but there is less possibility the raccoon will show up at work and comply with what is required. The same thing is so about housing. Two weeks in a short-term situation will not change his situation.</p><p></p><p>I am not being facetious or sarcastic here. When somebody is addicted to hard drugs (sometimes even marijuana or alcohol) the real personality is subsumed. It's as if there is no independent will available. On a short-term basis, he may go through the motions in thought and speech, but that's it.</p><p></p><p>That does not mean we can't help our children. There is a whole growing knowledge-base about the Harm Reduction approach, that staying involved and in relationship with our loved ones does help them and does help us. There was a great article in the NY Times about this approach on the weekend. I will try and find a link. The Harm Reduction approach bases treatment on family and community involvement with the addicted person, but in ways that actually support the person, and don't hurt us. Has your husband thought of consulting an addiction counselor to help him and the family? Here is the link to a really great article.</p><p><a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2022/07/08/opinion/codependency-addiction-recovery.html" target="_blank">https://www.nytimes.com/2022/07/08/opinion/codependency-addiction-recovery.html</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 762425, member: 18958"] I agree with much that Busy writes. It seems to me that people are "helping" your stepson to show to themselves that they are doing "all" they can. There are things that can be done to support your stepson but not because he whines and tries to extract concessions and benefits, with a woe is me story. Nobody here judges because we have done it all too. As long as your stepson is using meth daily, you are dealing with the drug 90 percent, and him 10 percent. It is as if your stepson has turned into a raccoon. You may get the raccoon to go to job interviews, but there is less possibility the raccoon will show up at work and comply with what is required. The same thing is so about housing. Two weeks in a short-term situation will not change his situation. I am not being facetious or sarcastic here. When somebody is addicted to hard drugs (sometimes even marijuana or alcohol) the real personality is subsumed. It's as if there is no independent will available. On a short-term basis, he may go through the motions in thought and speech, but that's it. That does not mean we can't help our children. There is a whole growing knowledge-base about the Harm Reduction approach, that staying involved and in relationship with our loved ones does help them and does help us. There was a great article in the NY Times about this approach on the weekend. I will try and find a link. The Harm Reduction approach bases treatment on family and community involvement with the addicted person, but in ways that actually support the person, and don't hurt us. Has your husband thought of consulting an addiction counselor to help him and the family? Here is the link to a really great article. [URL]https://www.nytimes.com/2022/07/08/opinion/codependency-addiction-recovery.html[/URL] [/QUOTE]
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Prodigal Son Returns Minus the Humble Part
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