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General Parenting
Progress?!?!?!?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 399717" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>That is very good progress on so many levels. First, he recognised you were trying to help although he forgot much of the good stuff you told him until he asked you to tell him. Second, he felt safe enough to share this concern with you.</p><p></p><p>Now to your good progress - you realise that when you've been focussed for too long on the problems, it's a challenge to turn your thinking around. I call it changing your mind-set (and sometimes get castigated here for saying it because the recipient has misunderstood!). Second, you are actively working to change your own thinking about him, and about how to get the best out of him.</p><p></p><p>Now to another important realisation for both of you - it's too easy to forget the good things, and only remember the bad. So as Dr Phil would say, it takes a lot of "attaboy's" to wipe out one negative verbal interaction. </p><p></p><p>As things continue to improve, it will get easier for you both. And perhaps share this post with him next time he talks to you about it - you both need to learn to find the light and not the darkness. Because if you face the light - the darkness is behind you. Trite, perhaps. But sometimes you need something obvious to help you remember.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 399717, member: 1991"] That is very good progress on so many levels. First, he recognised you were trying to help although he forgot much of the good stuff you told him until he asked you to tell him. Second, he felt safe enough to share this concern with you. Now to your good progress - you realise that when you've been focussed for too long on the problems, it's a challenge to turn your thinking around. I call it changing your mind-set (and sometimes get castigated here for saying it because the recipient has misunderstood!). Second, you are actively working to change your own thinking about him, and about how to get the best out of him. Now to another important realisation for both of you - it's too easy to forget the good things, and only remember the bad. So as Dr Phil would say, it takes a lot of "attaboy's" to wipe out one negative verbal interaction. As things continue to improve, it will get easier for you both. And perhaps share this post with him next time he talks to you about it - you both need to learn to find the light and not the darkness. Because if you face the light - the darkness is behind you. Trite, perhaps. But sometimes you need something obvious to help you remember. Marg [/QUOTE]
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