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The Watercooler
psychiatrist appointment today cuz I'm losing it over small stuff .... or so I thought
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 536229" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>M2odd - </p><p></p><p>I haven't read the others responses - but knowing them? They've given you great advice - I'm just going to give you my token thoughts. </p><p></p><p>First off - some people are going to look at your list and say "That's it? PFTHHHHT.....I can GIVE you a list!!" and others are going to look at that list and sit back and be in compete AWE of how you've managed to hang yourself together thus far. I'm not in either camp but for posterity sake? I want to make you aware of something that I see - that I did NOT see with your list. Of all the problems/stressors//traumatic events//you listed?? Whether they were self inflicted, non-controllable events or caused by outside entities? The only SOLUTION I saw you post was - Ant was behind on car payments and we took his car. That was it! I don't know that you can count loosing a pet and getting a new one as a solution - but With most of the other stressful situations you're probably sitting there going "OH YEAH STAR? Well how would YOU have handled MY Grandma Got Cdiff and my Aunts house burned to the ground and this and that and huh?" .........Well, I'm glad you asked, because Most days? I don't wear a bra. And I used to get peaved with "the pooper" for parking in MY SPOT - (remember?) I think we had this discussion about MY Parking spot. THAT isn't a weird thing, it's not an ODD thing - its not an OMG I'm a crazy lady thing. And I'll explain it too. </p><p></p><p>Okay so - you went through the trouble of remembering ALL the things that stressed you out. (shrug) Well - have you made the balance sheet for that list to get your life in the black of THINGS W IS GREATFUL FOR? A postive outlook so to speak in writing (as well) of the things that YOU personally have, that perhaps someone else does not - that make you happy, lucky, glad to be alive, thankful, appreciative? No? Haven't made that list yet? Why? (I'm waiting - deer in headlight look at you dear) Why? Because a lot of times when we're OVERWHELMED and DO NOT know how to process our grief, or our sorrow and tragedy in our life and rise above the din (as it were) we stuff those emotions. AND we stuff, and we stuff......and we stuff, stuff stuff. I mean at this point if your life were a build a bear? You'd have a Colossal sized nekkid bear - because they just don't sell outfits for a bear stuffed that large. And that is not HEALTHY. </p><p>DEALING with each tragedy or malady, or upset as it comes down the pike instead of pushing it somewhere and being the little orphan annie of the cosmos - ACTUALLY is healthy - and allows you to process the problem, get a grip on the day - and get a normal sized build a bear in your home. (or pony - personally I'd like to have a build a bear pony - but I just never get to go to the mall) - Not on my bucket list okay? </p><p>But YOU? Well - You have a chance here to turn it around, and figure it all out. And instead of doing it all backwards ? THIS is EXACTLY why I say to you all the time (and everyone else) SELF FIRST. </p><p>I'm not a selfish person.....I'm not a narcissistic person......But I am a ME FIRST person. I'm a giving person, I will do for OTHERS, and my family, and my community - and do it well - but......ME FIRST. WHY? </p><p>Because if I'm not well? I am of NO use to anyone - to do the things that I want to do. That WILL benefit them. </p><p></p><p>So we'll start with ------YOUR HEART. </p><p>You have heard from your doctor that the damage to your heart is minimal anomolies. MINIMAL, </p><p>What are you hearing here? </p><p>What is causing your stress? </p><p>There is no impending heart attack. You hare not suffering from CHF. You do not have heart wall damage. You have an otherwise strong heart. If the definition bothers you - call your doctor and say "Your definition has left me worrysome - can you please put into laymens terms for me to understand the definition of heart anomolies, so I can stop stressing out and causing myself undue stress?" Then ask questions pertinent to your fears. DEAL WITH THIS. Put your fears to rest - MOVE ON. </p><p>You seem to me like you'd do well with a flow chart system of answers - </p><p>Is my heart damage going to cause me future trouble? NO - End of conversation - MOVE ON - NO stress. </p><p>Is my heart damange going to cause me future Trouble? Yes - Move to next question </p><p>Can my heart damage cause me to have CHF in the future - No - move to next question Yes - Describe steps I can take to prevent further damage </p><p>Yes - Eat right, get checkups, see a heart specialist every six months. </p><p></p><p>It is my belief that your best bet here is going to be learning to deal with your problems AS THEY COME AT YOU on a DAILY basis. And learning HOW to confront PEOPLE who use you for a door mat. LEARN HOW TO SAY NO to people who take advantage of you.....when you really want to have a voice - so that you DO NOT get SO STRESSED OUT ? You feel like ripping your bra off - and shredding it or beating the guy at work with your antenna for parking on a spot of asphalt that is not yours....... </p><p></p><p>But I did say I'd explain that - didn't I? Okay - my theory. And how I got over it. My theory is - The parking spot isn't that he doesn't know it's yours. It's that in YOUR mind he should recognize that you park there every day and give you respect. When he parks wherever and sees that it's YOUR spot that you park in every day for years and years? It's disrespectful like he's sticking it to you, or trying to take YOUR space - and he's doing it on purpose. HE JUST HAS TO BE DOING IT ON PURPOSE. In my case? The pooper was doing it - I overheard him laughing about it - said he knew it jerked my chain. I politely asked him to not do it once in front of the boss - BECAUSE I didn't get all the other PERKS (free phone, free lunches, free computer, free gas card, free truck, allowed to bring his dog to work) like he did - so I just didn't think he'd begrudge me a simplistic thing like a parking spot since I had to run in and out more than anyone and if it rained - I was closest to the door after the owner. Owner agreed, but rolled his eyes - also a colossal butt. And in a mocking tone - said "Yeah don't park in HERrrrrr spot." Well okay - after that I found a spot about 100 yards from there and started parking there. I said I started parking THERE because I was using the exercise to start my exercise program because I din't want a big butt like either of them - (meaning owner and pooper) and that probably came from parking so close to the door and being lazy. No one parked in my spot after that. No one. I kept parking in the far away spot and eventually dropped 160 lbs, proved my point, gave up the "control" over the parking spot, and realized - it was never MINE to begin with, and he had no respect for HIMSELF because if he had when I mentioned it the first time? He would have apologized and said he was sorry - and parked elsewhere, NOT rolled his eyes - boss too. Problem solved. </p><p></p><p>I think you're going to enjoy the breathing exercises too. A really REALLY great exercise and stress management technique for when you are about to go postal on someone? Is to sit somewhere - chair, bench, toilet even - (hey it's private) with your hands at your side, inhale and hold your breath in, grab the bottom of the chair (or seat) with your fingers, and try to pull the seat up with all your might while you tense up EVERY single muscle you can in your body - and close your eyes - and hold that for about thirty seconds -or until you absolutely just can not breath. I mean tense up every single muscle in your BODY ------and then release....Do that about two or three times.....I promise you - you will relax......then sit there and just breath deep =don't try to stand up for about a minute after you do this - your muscles will be somewhat weak and you will find that your tension and anger are subsided - if not gone. It leavs you exhausted. If you have trouble sleeping - try this before you go to bed. </p><p></p><p>Deal with those things you can.........and then let them go....</p><p>Accept the things you can not.........and give them to God....</p><p>And learn to change the ones you can - and thank God for that ability and put it on your list of blessings.....</p><p></p><p>PERSPECTIVE, PERSPECTIVE, PERSEPECTIVE......remember that every day. When you find yourself doing stinkin-thinkin.........stop, listen hard for the lesson and the blessin......and move it forward in your life. </p><p>For the days you can't? Accept that it's okay to be human......accept that it's okay to have and ENTIRE day of being IMPERFECT and allow yourself the courtesty of at least one day a week where you mess things up all day long - but you learn from it. You're worth it. I know cause I love you very much. </p><p></p><p>Hugs - </p><p>Star</p><p>Anyway -</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 536229, member: 4964"] M2odd - I haven't read the others responses - but knowing them? They've given you great advice - I'm just going to give you my token thoughts. First off - some people are going to look at your list and say "That's it? PFTHHHHT.....I can GIVE you a list!!" and others are going to look at that list and sit back and be in compete AWE of how you've managed to hang yourself together thus far. I'm not in either camp but for posterity sake? I want to make you aware of something that I see - that I did NOT see with your list. Of all the problems/stressors//traumatic events//you listed?? Whether they were self inflicted, non-controllable events or caused by outside entities? The only SOLUTION I saw you post was - Ant was behind on car payments and we took his car. That was it! I don't know that you can count loosing a pet and getting a new one as a solution - but With most of the other stressful situations you're probably sitting there going "OH YEAH STAR? Well how would YOU have handled MY Grandma Got Cdiff and my Aunts house burned to the ground and this and that and huh?" .........Well, I'm glad you asked, because Most days? I don't wear a bra. And I used to get peaved with "the pooper" for parking in MY SPOT - (remember?) I think we had this discussion about MY Parking spot. THAT isn't a weird thing, it's not an ODD thing - its not an OMG I'm a crazy lady thing. And I'll explain it too. Okay so - you went through the trouble of remembering ALL the things that stressed you out. (shrug) Well - have you made the balance sheet for that list to get your life in the black of THINGS W IS GREATFUL FOR? A postive outlook so to speak in writing (as well) of the things that YOU personally have, that perhaps someone else does not - that make you happy, lucky, glad to be alive, thankful, appreciative? No? Haven't made that list yet? Why? (I'm waiting - deer in headlight look at you dear) Why? Because a lot of times when we're OVERWHELMED and DO NOT know how to process our grief, or our sorrow and tragedy in our life and rise above the din (as it were) we stuff those emotions. AND we stuff, and we stuff......and we stuff, stuff stuff. I mean at this point if your life were a build a bear? You'd have a Colossal sized nekkid bear - because they just don't sell outfits for a bear stuffed that large. And that is not HEALTHY. DEALING with each tragedy or malady, or upset as it comes down the pike instead of pushing it somewhere and being the little orphan annie of the cosmos - ACTUALLY is healthy - and allows you to process the problem, get a grip on the day - and get a normal sized build a bear in your home. (or pony - personally I'd like to have a build a bear pony - but I just never get to go to the mall) - Not on my bucket list okay? But YOU? Well - You have a chance here to turn it around, and figure it all out. And instead of doing it all backwards ? THIS is EXACTLY why I say to you all the time (and everyone else) SELF FIRST. I'm not a selfish person.....I'm not a narcissistic person......But I am a ME FIRST person. I'm a giving person, I will do for OTHERS, and my family, and my community - and do it well - but......ME FIRST. WHY? Because if I'm not well? I am of NO use to anyone - to do the things that I want to do. That WILL benefit them. So we'll start with ------YOUR HEART. You have heard from your doctor that the damage to your heart is minimal anomolies. MINIMAL, What are you hearing here? What is causing your stress? There is no impending heart attack. You hare not suffering from CHF. You do not have heart wall damage. You have an otherwise strong heart. If the definition bothers you - call your doctor and say "Your definition has left me worrysome - can you please put into laymens terms for me to understand the definition of heart anomolies, so I can stop stressing out and causing myself undue stress?" Then ask questions pertinent to your fears. DEAL WITH THIS. Put your fears to rest - MOVE ON. You seem to me like you'd do well with a flow chart system of answers - Is my heart damage going to cause me future trouble? NO - End of conversation - MOVE ON - NO stress. Is my heart damange going to cause me future Trouble? Yes - Move to next question Can my heart damage cause me to have CHF in the future - No - move to next question Yes - Describe steps I can take to prevent further damage Yes - Eat right, get checkups, see a heart specialist every six months. It is my belief that your best bet here is going to be learning to deal with your problems AS THEY COME AT YOU on a DAILY basis. And learning HOW to confront PEOPLE who use you for a door mat. LEARN HOW TO SAY NO to people who take advantage of you.....when you really want to have a voice - so that you DO NOT get SO STRESSED OUT ? You feel like ripping your bra off - and shredding it or beating the guy at work with your antenna for parking on a spot of asphalt that is not yours....... But I did say I'd explain that - didn't I? Okay - my theory. And how I got over it. My theory is - The parking spot isn't that he doesn't know it's yours. It's that in YOUR mind he should recognize that you park there every day and give you respect. When he parks wherever and sees that it's YOUR spot that you park in every day for years and years? It's disrespectful like he's sticking it to you, or trying to take YOUR space - and he's doing it on purpose. HE JUST HAS TO BE DOING IT ON PURPOSE. In my case? The pooper was doing it - I overheard him laughing about it - said he knew it jerked my chain. I politely asked him to not do it once in front of the boss - BECAUSE I didn't get all the other PERKS (free phone, free lunches, free computer, free gas card, free truck, allowed to bring his dog to work) like he did - so I just didn't think he'd begrudge me a simplistic thing like a parking spot since I had to run in and out more than anyone and if it rained - I was closest to the door after the owner. Owner agreed, but rolled his eyes - also a colossal butt. And in a mocking tone - said "Yeah don't park in HERrrrrr spot." Well okay - after that I found a spot about 100 yards from there and started parking there. I said I started parking THERE because I was using the exercise to start my exercise program because I din't want a big butt like either of them - (meaning owner and pooper) and that probably came from parking so close to the door and being lazy. No one parked in my spot after that. No one. I kept parking in the far away spot and eventually dropped 160 lbs, proved my point, gave up the "control" over the parking spot, and realized - it was never MINE to begin with, and he had no respect for HIMSELF because if he had when I mentioned it the first time? He would have apologized and said he was sorry - and parked elsewhere, NOT rolled his eyes - boss too. Problem solved. I think you're going to enjoy the breathing exercises too. A really REALLY great exercise and stress management technique for when you are about to go postal on someone? Is to sit somewhere - chair, bench, toilet even - (hey it's private) with your hands at your side, inhale and hold your breath in, grab the bottom of the chair (or seat) with your fingers, and try to pull the seat up with all your might while you tense up EVERY single muscle you can in your body - and close your eyes - and hold that for about thirty seconds -or until you absolutely just can not breath. I mean tense up every single muscle in your BODY ------and then release....Do that about two or three times.....I promise you - you will relax......then sit there and just breath deep =don't try to stand up for about a minute after you do this - your muscles will be somewhat weak and you will find that your tension and anger are subsided - if not gone. It leavs you exhausted. If you have trouble sleeping - try this before you go to bed. Deal with those things you can.........and then let them go.... Accept the things you can not.........and give them to God.... And learn to change the ones you can - and thank God for that ability and put it on your list of blessings..... PERSPECTIVE, PERSPECTIVE, PERSEPECTIVE......remember that every day. When you find yourself doing stinkin-thinkin.........stop, listen hard for the lesson and the blessin......and move it forward in your life. For the days you can't? Accept that it's okay to be human......accept that it's okay to have and ENTIRE day of being IMPERFECT and allow yourself the courtesty of at least one day a week where you mess things up all day long - but you learn from it. You're worth it. I know cause I love you very much. Hugs - Star Anyway - [/QUOTE]
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The Watercooler
psychiatrist appointment today cuz I'm losing it over small stuff .... or so I thought
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