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The Watercooler
Psychiatrists ponder the dangers of bitterness
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<blockquote data-quote="Marcie Mac" data-source="post: 276641" data-attributes="member: 47"><p>That describes my mother to a T, in fact, a lot of aunts/uncles/grandparents to a T. Maybe they should do a little more research to see if its got a genetic component to it - they could use my extended family as a case study LOL.</p><p> </p><p>My mother harbored bitterness and hatred for my father ever since their divorce. He cheated on her. He was an Italian difficult child of utmost porportions, there was our family and THE family, if you know what I am getting at. Her bitterness spilled over into my life - she developed an absolute hatred of males, and drilled into me at a very young age I didn't need men in my life, I could do anything a guy could do (and thus began my initiation into codependency. </p><p> </p><p>And then there was more bitterness spilled over because I wasn't that dutiful daughter she wanted, someone who was pliable, who did all the right things, said all the right things, acted all the right ways - nope, I came out too headstrong, never listened, way too independent, impulsive, and the genetic family tree of mental health issues I seemed to be loaded with didn't help matters. </p><p> </p><p>Now I find it funny to realize when I was young my independence seemed to be a good thing as long as it was working in her favor - the minute I started exerting it for my own benefit, all h#ll broke lose. Ahhh, If I only had a dollar everytime she said "your just like your father" </p><p> </p><p>She is moving into her mid 80's, still cannot deal with my fathers leaving her without the bitterness, and bitterness towards his girlfriend, who truth be told was much better suited to him as they were almost together 40 some years. And the bitterness towards me for leaving, even though it probably saved me from killing myself had I stayed there in the mire of negativity that had become her life</p><p> </p><p>I often think how in the heck can someone hold a grudge and be bitter for ,mmm, like 50 years or so. Ok, someone has done you wrong - get over it already and move on. Hanging on to that bitterness you never get to realize all the good stuff you may have lost. Susan Schultz the poetess once wrote Relationships that don't end peacefully, never end. My mother is pretty much living proof of that</p><p> </p><p>Marcie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marcie Mac, post: 276641, member: 47"] That describes my mother to a T, in fact, a lot of aunts/uncles/grandparents to a T. Maybe they should do a little more research to see if its got a genetic component to it - they could use my extended family as a case study LOL. My mother harbored bitterness and hatred for my father ever since their divorce. He cheated on her. He was an Italian difficult child of utmost porportions, there was our family and THE family, if you know what I am getting at. Her bitterness spilled over into my life - she developed an absolute hatred of males, and drilled into me at a very young age I didn't need men in my life, I could do anything a guy could do (and thus began my initiation into codependency. And then there was more bitterness spilled over because I wasn't that dutiful daughter she wanted, someone who was pliable, who did all the right things, said all the right things, acted all the right ways - nope, I came out too headstrong, never listened, way too independent, impulsive, and the genetic family tree of mental health issues I seemed to be loaded with didn't help matters. Now I find it funny to realize when I was young my independence seemed to be a good thing as long as it was working in her favor - the minute I started exerting it for my own benefit, all h#ll broke lose. Ahhh, If I only had a dollar everytime she said "your just like your father" She is moving into her mid 80's, still cannot deal with my fathers leaving her without the bitterness, and bitterness towards his girlfriend, who truth be told was much better suited to him as they were almost together 40 some years. And the bitterness towards me for leaving, even though it probably saved me from killing myself had I stayed there in the mire of negativity that had become her life I often think how in the heck can someone hold a grudge and be bitter for ,mmm, like 50 years or so. Ok, someone has done you wrong - get over it already and move on. Hanging on to that bitterness you never get to realize all the good stuff you may have lost. Susan Schultz the poetess once wrote Relationships that don't end peacefully, never end. My mother is pretty much living proof of that Marcie [/QUOTE]
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Psychiatrists ponder the dangers of bitterness
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