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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 458771" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Thanks for your supportive post, Insane (and for remembering what I have posted so well!). Much of what you say is spot on... does make it seem a rather odd choice of mine that I should have chosen to be living in an ancient village in rural, mono-cultural France <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Choices based on my desire for J to speak French and to attend a small, village school...</p><p>Janet, I understand the point you make. I also wonder how to get my point across credibly without seeming like an overly permissive mother who can't bear the thought of her child being punished. Two things are relevant here. One is that in Europe ADHD is not diagnosed until at least age six - except in really exceptional circumstances where the child is so aggressive and out of order that all normal life is impossible. The other is that J does not actually have real problems concentrating or focusing in class so, as Insane says, stimulant medication would not actually be of any relevance. The teacher finds J difficult in the break times above all, not so much in the class room... I have told her what the child psychiatrist has said, that she is "virtually certain" that J has ADHD - that is as firm a diagnosis that we can get at this stage. Funnily enough, people I know in the village whose daughter is dyslexic removed her from the village school after battling to get the teacher to recognise and understand that she was dyslexic; apparently the teacher refused to consider such a possibility and insisted the child just was being lazy (their version of the story, naturally). They eventually involved the local school administration and there was some question of the teacher losing her post over it. I think this is why the teacher is now being very careful to try to accept and understand this new thing called ADHD that she had never heard of by reading the book I gave her and taking notes <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p>The point for me, though, is that punishment just does not work with J. It makes him naughtier and more aggressive. So why continue with it??</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 458771, member: 11227"] Thanks for your supportive post, Insane (and for remembering what I have posted so well!). Much of what you say is spot on... does make it seem a rather odd choice of mine that I should have chosen to be living in an ancient village in rural, mono-cultural France :) Choices based on my desire for J to speak French and to attend a small, village school... Janet, I understand the point you make. I also wonder how to get my point across credibly without seeming like an overly permissive mother who can't bear the thought of her child being punished. Two things are relevant here. One is that in Europe ADHD is not diagnosed until at least age six - except in really exceptional circumstances where the child is so aggressive and out of order that all normal life is impossible. The other is that J does not actually have real problems concentrating or focusing in class so, as Insane says, stimulant medication would not actually be of any relevance. The teacher finds J difficult in the break times above all, not so much in the class room... I have told her what the child psychiatrist has said, that she is "virtually certain" that J has ADHD - that is as firm a diagnosis that we can get at this stage. Funnily enough, people I know in the village whose daughter is dyslexic removed her from the village school after battling to get the teacher to recognise and understand that she was dyslexic; apparently the teacher refused to consider such a possibility and insisted the child just was being lazy (their version of the story, naturally). They eventually involved the local school administration and there was some question of the teacher losing her post over it. I think this is why the teacher is now being very careful to try to accept and understand this new thing called ADHD that she had never heard of by reading the book I gave her and taking notes :) The point for me, though, is that punishment just does not work with J. It makes him naughtier and more aggressive. So why continue with it?? [/QUOTE]
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