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question about the court thing
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<blockquote data-quote="Farmwife" data-source="post: 326215" data-attributes="member: 8617"><p>I have never been in your particular situation but do sadly have some experience with courts. I can share my observations.</p><p> </p><p>1. Some judges are nice some are not. It is always a safe bet to quiet your anger. Absolutely speak your piece but do it in as neutral a tone as possible. Being assertive is not always good if the judge just had a person act the fool an hour before your turn. The justice system isn't always fair so expecting it to be can be frustrating.</p><p> </p><p>2. Facts ONLY. So many people get emotional or bring up things that are not relevant which detract from things that may help. Judges get edgy when people ramble about things that they think are important but are not what the judge needs in order to determine specific rules of law. too much information is a major problem in courts.</p><p> </p><p>3. This is a juvenile court so unless your difficult child has a long record already the judges usually want to keep kids on the right path. Throwing the book at kids at this age is not a good long term plan. It is up to the judges discretion as to what to do, they do not have to give the fine. Often in juvenile cases they may exercise other options such as dismissing it if it seems silly, ordering counseling, ordering community service, allowing payments, reducing the fine etc. etc. </p><p> </p><p>4. Your difficult child's underlying conditions will make a HUGE difference. A kid with problems is looked at differently than a delinquent who just decides to be a menace to society for fun or cool points.</p><p> </p><p>5. The first appearance is rarely the end. There can be many preliminary meetings before an actual "trial". I assume this is a misdemeanor. Although upsetting to you it is not a big deal to the court system and is usually sealed when difficult child turns 18.</p><p> </p><p>6. If you cannot afford the fine tell the judge. If difficult child is found responsible it is up to difficult child to work it off. Sometimes they have kids do volunteer work in lieu of a fine. If you are on hard times and doing what you can there is no reason why the family should be short on bills.</p><p> </p><p>7. The liason officer may be a bit wet behind the ears but perhaps you could take that up with the school. I assume they understand the situation. Maybe there is a way to make peace and have them go to the hearing to say your difficult child has been well behaved since. Even if difficult child was not 100% wrong an apology would go a long way. Upsetting the apple cart at school may not go in your favor. Creating an adversarial relationship with the school even if you are right can only hurt difficult child even if unfair. </p><p> </p><p>8. The dress code will not matter in the court. The judge is there to decide if your son broke the law. it sounds like your difficult child is charged with obstructing which has nothing to do with the depansting. The "crime" sounds like it was the mouthing off after. The actions taken by the other student or the validity of the school rules will not come into play. Although it is all related the judge is not presiding over the fairness of the school policy. The judge has to decide if difficult child actually obstructed, nothing more nothing less.</p><p> </p><p>9. Do a search of state laws/statues. You can dig into juvenile court laws, school admin. code etc. It is dry reading, sometimes confusing and takes a lot of time but the "law books" are available to the public online or at the local court. Sometimes information can give piece of mind. I saved myself some problems by informing myself and have had cases dismissed that may otherwise have been problematic.</p><p> </p><p>10. Breath. I know you are upset but you have to be clear minded to get good results. I understand the frustration, believe me. The court isn't as scary as many people imagine. You will be fine. Hopefully this will blow over and may be a valuable lesson for difficult child. </p><p> </p><p>Good luck</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Farmwife, post: 326215, member: 8617"] I have never been in your particular situation but do sadly have some experience with courts. I can share my observations. 1. Some judges are nice some are not. It is always a safe bet to quiet your anger. Absolutely speak your piece but do it in as neutral a tone as possible. Being assertive is not always good if the judge just had a person act the fool an hour before your turn. The justice system isn't always fair so expecting it to be can be frustrating. 2. Facts ONLY. So many people get emotional or bring up things that are not relevant which detract from things that may help. Judges get edgy when people ramble about things that they think are important but are not what the judge needs in order to determine specific rules of law. too much information is a major problem in courts. 3. This is a juvenile court so unless your difficult child has a long record already the judges usually want to keep kids on the right path. Throwing the book at kids at this age is not a good long term plan. It is up to the judges discretion as to what to do, they do not have to give the fine. Often in juvenile cases they may exercise other options such as dismissing it if it seems silly, ordering counseling, ordering community service, allowing payments, reducing the fine etc. etc. 4. Your difficult child's underlying conditions will make a HUGE difference. A kid with problems is looked at differently than a delinquent who just decides to be a menace to society for fun or cool points. 5. The first appearance is rarely the end. There can be many preliminary meetings before an actual "trial". I assume this is a misdemeanor. Although upsetting to you it is not a big deal to the court system and is usually sealed when difficult child turns 18. 6. If you cannot afford the fine tell the judge. If difficult child is found responsible it is up to difficult child to work it off. Sometimes they have kids do volunteer work in lieu of a fine. If you are on hard times and doing what you can there is no reason why the family should be short on bills. 7. The liason officer may be a bit wet behind the ears but perhaps you could take that up with the school. I assume they understand the situation. Maybe there is a way to make peace and have them go to the hearing to say your difficult child has been well behaved since. Even if difficult child was not 100% wrong an apology would go a long way. Upsetting the apple cart at school may not go in your favor. Creating an adversarial relationship with the school even if you are right can only hurt difficult child even if unfair. 8. The dress code will not matter in the court. The judge is there to decide if your son broke the law. it sounds like your difficult child is charged with obstructing which has nothing to do with the depansting. The "crime" sounds like it was the mouthing off after. The actions taken by the other student or the validity of the school rules will not come into play. Although it is all related the judge is not presiding over the fairness of the school policy. The judge has to decide if difficult child actually obstructed, nothing more nothing less. 9. Do a search of state laws/statues. You can dig into juvenile court laws, school admin. code etc. It is dry reading, sometimes confusing and takes a lot of time but the "law books" are available to the public online or at the local court. Sometimes information can give piece of mind. I saved myself some problems by informing myself and have had cases dismissed that may otherwise have been problematic. 10. Breath. I know you are upset but you have to be clear minded to get good results. I understand the frustration, believe me. The court isn't as scary as many people imagine. You will be fine. Hopefully this will blow over and may be a valuable lesson for difficult child. Good luck [/QUOTE]
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