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question...dont know how to title this one (long)
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 105084" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p>{{Janet}} I agree with everything everyone has said. Daisy really hit the nail on the head every time.</p><p></p><p>Jamie's a man and he can handle the truth - it stinks that for some reason they are talking about ancient history NOW, as if they want credit for something that is behind everyone. You're right, it's probably more Pat than your dad. </p><p></p><p>I think that it's okay for Jamie to put his hand up and say, "I do not want to discuss this. What's past is past. Let's discuss now and enjoy THIS time together." If he harbors any resentment, that's not for you to work out. You can certainly talk with him about the many ways in which your dad did help out and provide for you and your family. But Jamie is the one who will have to one day put this into the proper perspective. </p><p></p><p>I don't agree with the way in which your dad handled things, and I sure hope that you truly do not consider yourself anything less than deserving and wonderful - because you ARE. But, your dad did things the way that seemed okay in his head along the way. Nothing can change that. Just like you're able to put things into an 'order', if you will, that makes sense to you and enables you to move on and have whatever relationship you have with your dad, so will Jamie. Talk to him about it - but then you have to let him work it out in his own heart and head alone. He definitely has a right to be angry, and he also has a right to detach for a little while. If he should be angry with anyone it's Pat, but then again, she has been there for your dad, as you said, caring for him. </p><p></p><p>We're all perfect in our own that suits us. We can't be everything to everyone, and we certainly cannot change the past, but we can appreciate the now. I hope that Jamie can learn this - it's something that takes a lot of growth and maturity and he may not be ready yet.</p><p></p><p>Hugs & Peace.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 105084, member: 2211"] {{Janet}} I agree with everything everyone has said. Daisy really hit the nail on the head every time. Jamie's a man and he can handle the truth - it stinks that for some reason they are talking about ancient history NOW, as if they want credit for something that is behind everyone. You're right, it's probably more Pat than your dad. I think that it's okay for Jamie to put his hand up and say, "I do not want to discuss this. What's past is past. Let's discuss now and enjoy THIS time together." If he harbors any resentment, that's not for you to work out. You can certainly talk with him about the many ways in which your dad did help out and provide for you and your family. But Jamie is the one who will have to one day put this into the proper perspective. I don't agree with the way in which your dad handled things, and I sure hope that you truly do not consider yourself anything less than deserving and wonderful - because you ARE. But, your dad did things the way that seemed okay in his head along the way. Nothing can change that. Just like you're able to put things into an 'order', if you will, that makes sense to you and enables you to move on and have whatever relationship you have with your dad, so will Jamie. Talk to him about it - but then you have to let him work it out in his own heart and head alone. He definitely has a right to be angry, and he also has a right to detach for a little while. If he should be angry with anyone it's Pat, but then again, she has been there for your dad, as you said, caring for him. We're all perfect in our own that suits us. We can't be everything to everyone, and we certainly cannot change the past, but we can appreciate the now. I hope that Jamie can learn this - it's something that takes a lot of growth and maturity and he may not be ready yet. Hugs & Peace. [/QUOTE]
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