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Question for all you experienced moms!
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 182851" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>I think you will have to ask yourself some serious questions and understand that being a parent is living with whatever your child brings to the mix. </p><p></p><p>Is your goal as a parent to raise an independent, law abiding, tax paying,functional, young man of character? Or is it to raise a drug free, label free, adult? One may depend on the other but I don't rule out medication the rest of his life. I take synthroid since I was 29 and plan to the rest of my life. Doesn't seem to be a big deal. What I'm saying is, that if your child needs supports whatever they may be, why would you not want to allow this?</p><p></p><p>I don't believe they grow "out" of anything. I think their maturity evolves as does their behavior but the "brain wrinkle" that is evident now, will still be there but may be eased by learning different behavior, medication, and/or his level of understanding. Different kids are affected differently. Their severity, IQ, interventions all play a part at how they end up when they are adults. </p><p></p><p>In the end, if this child grows to be a difficult adult, do you not still have a responsibility or maternal connection to still do what you can and to love him? There will be times during his life when we aren't liking our kids even those who are not difficult child's. That's life. </p><p></p><p>Life gives everyone challenges in some way or another. In our case it is a parenting choice to rise to the child's needs or not. Some parents do and some don't. It speaks more about the parent than the child. A difficult child is all of our specific challenge at this time. I know a multitude of other adults with different sorts of personal tragedy and challenges and once again, how they deal with it is a choice. </p><p></p><p>I cringed and cried at the thought that my child will never be "normal". It's the fear of the unknown. What does that actually mean? In the end, my son isn't normal and all the things I was terrified about came to be. The world did not end. You still get up the next day and try better. Hopefully so will he.</p><p></p><p>Set clear parenting goals for yourself.</p><p>Take care to get breaks from the intensity.</p><p>Look at your son and ask yourself "what does he need to manage?"</p><p>Ask yourself how you can parent difficult child effectively.</p><p>Evaluate yourself honestly and look for ways to improve.</p><p>Remember, he is a kid in a tough situation. Let him know he is loved and you are trying to help him. Remind him that you aren't the enemy. </p><p>Remind yourself that he isn't the enemy either. </p><p>Try to have fun with him every day.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 182851, member: 3"] I think you will have to ask yourself some serious questions and understand that being a parent is living with whatever your child brings to the mix. Is your goal as a parent to raise an independent, law abiding, tax paying,functional, young man of character? Or is it to raise a drug free, label free, adult? One may depend on the other but I don't rule out medication the rest of his life. I take synthroid since I was 29 and plan to the rest of my life. Doesn't seem to be a big deal. What I'm saying is, that if your child needs supports whatever they may be, why would you not want to allow this? I don't believe they grow "out" of anything. I think their maturity evolves as does their behavior but the "brain wrinkle" that is evident now, will still be there but may be eased by learning different behavior, medication, and/or his level of understanding. Different kids are affected differently. Their severity, IQ, interventions all play a part at how they end up when they are adults. In the end, if this child grows to be a difficult adult, do you not still have a responsibility or maternal connection to still do what you can and to love him? There will be times during his life when we aren't liking our kids even those who are not difficult child's. That's life. Life gives everyone challenges in some way or another. In our case it is a parenting choice to rise to the child's needs or not. Some parents do and some don't. It speaks more about the parent than the child. A difficult child is all of our specific challenge at this time. I know a multitude of other adults with different sorts of personal tragedy and challenges and once again, how they deal with it is a choice. I cringed and cried at the thought that my child will never be "normal". It's the fear of the unknown. What does that actually mean? In the end, my son isn't normal and all the things I was terrified about came to be. The world did not end. You still get up the next day and try better. Hopefully so will he. Set clear parenting goals for yourself. Take care to get breaks from the intensity. Look at your son and ask yourself "what does he need to manage?" Ask yourself how you can parent difficult child effectively. Evaluate yourself honestly and look for ways to improve. Remember, he is a kid in a tough situation. Let him know he is loved and you are trying to help him. Remind him that you aren't the enemy. Remind yourself that he isn't the enemy either. Try to have fun with him every day. [/QUOTE]
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