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Question for the PE group
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 553747" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>We did talk with our difficult child not only about alcohol and drugs but also about gambling, because there seemed to be some very vague warning signs with him. And when he did hit his tweens and teens unfortunately poker and sport betting had become incredibly trendy and cool. There was absolutely no way getting through to him and I have even wondered if all the talk was counter productive. Teens, especially those with rebellious streak mile wide, don't take it well, when they are told they can not do something, ever. And especially if they feel they are set aside. That others can, but because you have this structural error in you that can not be removed, you never can even try. </p><p></p><p>That is something you may want to keep in mind. It is relatively easy to make younger kid to believe something simply is off-limits for them. They will easily tell you they would never drink or smoke or try drugs. That makes you feel good as a parent, but unfortunately after they hit puberty that goes out of the window and strong warnings and talking a lot about something may even turn against itself. If I would have a re-try, I would probably go more with trying to influence the peer group they hang out with. The peer group influence, and what is considered cool, has so much more influence on teens than parental advises.</p><p></p><p>Then again, with my difficult child I don't know if anything would had helped. Maybe having better peer relationships and less pressure trying to be cool. Or maybe not.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 553747, member: 14557"] We did talk with our difficult child not only about alcohol and drugs but also about gambling, because there seemed to be some very vague warning signs with him. And when he did hit his tweens and teens unfortunately poker and sport betting had become incredibly trendy and cool. There was absolutely no way getting through to him and I have even wondered if all the talk was counter productive. Teens, especially those with rebellious streak mile wide, don't take it well, when they are told they can not do something, ever. And especially if they feel they are set aside. That others can, but because you have this structural error in you that can not be removed, you never can even try. That is something you may want to keep in mind. It is relatively easy to make younger kid to believe something simply is off-limits for them. They will easily tell you they would never drink or smoke or try drugs. That makes you feel good as a parent, but unfortunately after they hit puberty that goes out of the window and strong warnings and talking a lot about something may even turn against itself. If I would have a re-try, I would probably go more with trying to influence the peer group they hang out with. The peer group influence, and what is considered cool, has so much more influence on teens than parental advises. Then again, with my difficult child I don't know if anything would had helped. Maybe having better peer relationships and less pressure trying to be cool. Or maybe not. [/QUOTE]
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