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Question For Those Further Down the Path Than Me
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 709132" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Aw, hon. That was your daughter being deliberately mean again, not your husband. She made him an outsider and did it on purpose. And when you step on her feet, which half the time or most of the time, you didnt mean to do, she punishes you. People like this respond to only one thing (i have known people like this which is why i learned so much about personality disorders). They insist you do their bidding, never accidentally say anything they dont like and do everything they ask you to do. Hearing the word no will trigger cruelty. Yet, as you said, they have no real moral compass. "I dont like him so i wont take his money." Um, theyd take a true predators money if it were offered. They take, take, take and never give without conditions. Not from the goodness of their hearts.</p><p></p><p>Have you ever read "Walking on Eggshells?" It is all about dealing with a borderline in a loved one. It would spply here even if she has no diagnosis. I dont recall the aithor but if you just put the name into Amazon, the book will come up.</p><p></p><p>Sad fact: Your granddaugjters are far away and you cant help them. They can and will have to deal with Mom and the men she allows around them. They may not make it completely unscathed, but they will leave one day. Then they can start to build better lives and you can contact them. Yes, you will be old, but you will be able to explain and hug them and let them know you were always loving them. If you have assets, you can leave them for your grandchildren.</p><p></p><p>I personally would not leave much or anything to Daughter, but thats a gloomy, differrnt topic. And its your decision.</p><p></p><p>Walk with your chin up today. You did nothing wrong. This is on your daughter. If she is anything like her father, think heredity. The newest research indicates that personality disorders are inherited or part inherited. There is not much you can do about that. My son is a replica of my narcististic father. Its almost scary. It seems his kind, giving, fun childhood did not affect him in a positive way. Yet his siblings are all kind. His diblings dont share his DNA. They are adopted.</p><p></p><p>Take care of the kind heart of yours.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 709132, member: 1550"] Aw, hon. That was your daughter being deliberately mean again, not your husband. She made him an outsider and did it on purpose. And when you step on her feet, which half the time or most of the time, you didnt mean to do, she punishes you. People like this respond to only one thing (i have known people like this which is why i learned so much about personality disorders). They insist you do their bidding, never accidentally say anything they dont like and do everything they ask you to do. Hearing the word no will trigger cruelty. Yet, as you said, they have no real moral compass. "I dont like him so i wont take his money." Um, theyd take a true predators money if it were offered. They take, take, take and never give without conditions. Not from the goodness of their hearts. Have you ever read "Walking on Eggshells?" It is all about dealing with a borderline in a loved one. It would spply here even if she has no diagnosis. I dont recall the aithor but if you just put the name into Amazon, the book will come up. Sad fact: Your granddaugjters are far away and you cant help them. They can and will have to deal with Mom and the men she allows around them. They may not make it completely unscathed, but they will leave one day. Then they can start to build better lives and you can contact them. Yes, you will be old, but you will be able to explain and hug them and let them know you were always loving them. If you have assets, you can leave them for your grandchildren. I personally would not leave much or anything to Daughter, but thats a gloomy, differrnt topic. And its your decision. Walk with your chin up today. You did nothing wrong. This is on your daughter. If she is anything like her father, think heredity. The newest research indicates that personality disorders are inherited or part inherited. There is not much you can do about that. My son is a replica of my narcististic father. Its almost scary. It seems his kind, giving, fun childhood did not affect him in a positive way. Yet his siblings are all kind. His diblings dont share his DNA. They are adopted. Take care of the kind heart of yours. [/QUOTE]
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