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General Parenting
Question for those with kids in Residential Treatment Facility (RTF)/Residential Treatment Center (RTC) placements - Summer
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 435382" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>This is said with a mountain of 20/20 hindsight. You are absolutely allowed to have a weekend (or 10) off. It is unfair to *you* as well as your other kids to put everything on hold 1 day per weekend indefinitely.</p><p></p><p>thank you's first Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was an hour away (if there was absolutely no traffic, which is rare in Chicago, so realistically it could be anywhere from a 1.5-hour drive to one particularly unforgettable 4-hour drive). We went, as a family, every single weekend for the first 3 years he was in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) (age 9-12). If I had to do it over? I wouldn't. Life should go on, Beth. For you and for your other kids. I remember the need to see thank you and to be with him and to make sure he understood that we would *always* be there for him, but the cost to the other kids was really quite huge. There was absolutely no balance in our family life. Even with thank you *not* living here, his circumstances were still dictating what we could and couldn't do.</p><p></p><p>(Wow - talk about a slap upside the head - I never realized that I guess I have a *lot* of resentment about those trips, LOL. But... there it is.)</p><p></p><p>By the time he got to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) #3 (was I think 13 or 14 then?), I went when I felt like it. Kids went when they felt like it. We did a lot more tag-team parenting in terms of visits. And I can honestly say that after choosing not to go a couple of times, the guilt went away. </p><p></p><p>I think you're allowed to not go *one* weekend, and how you choose to explain it to difficult child is up to you. Either tell him you're going camping or tell him you've got stuff you have to do and you can't make it. You are allowed.</p><p></p><p>Not visiting every weekend does *not* make Residential Treatment Center (RTC) punitive. </p><p></p><p>Again, said with a lot of years between me and those weekend visits.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 435382, member: 8"] This is said with a mountain of 20/20 hindsight. You are absolutely allowed to have a weekend (or 10) off. It is unfair to *you* as well as your other kids to put everything on hold 1 day per weekend indefinitely. thank you's first Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was an hour away (if there was absolutely no traffic, which is rare in Chicago, so realistically it could be anywhere from a 1.5-hour drive to one particularly unforgettable 4-hour drive). We went, as a family, every single weekend for the first 3 years he was in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) (age 9-12). If I had to do it over? I wouldn't. Life should go on, Beth. For you and for your other kids. I remember the need to see thank you and to be with him and to make sure he understood that we would *always* be there for him, but the cost to the other kids was really quite huge. There was absolutely no balance in our family life. Even with thank you *not* living here, his circumstances were still dictating what we could and couldn't do. (Wow - talk about a slap upside the head - I never realized that I guess I have a *lot* of resentment about those trips, LOL. But... there it is.) By the time he got to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) #3 (was I think 13 or 14 then?), I went when I felt like it. Kids went when they felt like it. We did a lot more tag-team parenting in terms of visits. And I can honestly say that after choosing not to go a couple of times, the guilt went away. I think you're allowed to not go *one* weekend, and how you choose to explain it to difficult child is up to you. Either tell him you're going camping or tell him you've got stuff you have to do and you can't make it. You are allowed. Not visiting every weekend does *not* make Residential Treatment Center (RTC) punitive. Again, said with a lot of years between me and those weekend visits. [/QUOTE]
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Question for those with kids in Residential Treatment Facility (RTF)/Residential Treatment Center (RTC) placements - Summer
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